I’d killed for him. Because of him.
So maybe I wasn’t really any better than Gethin, when it came down to it.
Sephtis cleared his throat like he was trying to fill the awkward silence pressing around us with something other than my dark thoughts and whatever was making the man in front of us scowl.
“A lot of these books are about legends of cupids. Do you have anything… older?” How old was Death? Were there books old enough for that?
“I mean, there are a few things. When Wren and Theo were here, they were looking for…” His brows came together and he swallowed the words down, like he wanted to make sure he was keeping their secrets, even though I hadn’t really bothered asking about them to begin with.
Maybe later. Maybe if we could sort all this out and figure out how to let me exist in a world where I wasn’t constantly being hunted down by demon dogs. Maybe then I could have space to be curious about Wren and his monster.
“Thank you.” Sephtis was honestly more graceful than I could ever hope to be. There was an elegance to him that I couldn’t begin to touch… a timelessness. Of course, he was old enough that timeless applied to him. And he offered a gentle smile as Gethin pointed in the direction of a stack of books stuffed onto a shelf behind the couch we’d been using as a fold-out bed.
I was glad we’d figured out at leastsomeof the shit going on between us, or it would have beenreallyawkward to be stuck in here with him.
“That’s what Wren and Theo were looking at when they were here. I have no idea if it’ll help you. They had to go back to Love’s Ace to steal shit.” Gethin’s icy eyes flicked to me. “And before you ask… no. I’m not going. And no, you can’t talk me into it. There aren’t enough favors in the world.”
He turned at that, leaving without bothering to say goodbye, and I waited until the door closed before murmuring to Sephtis, “You’d think between being a serial killer and a cupid, he would have figured out how to be less… emotional.”
I’d learned a lot about cupids over the last few days, which made what was going on with Wren and Theo even more interesting… since I was pretty sure nothing like that was possible, as far as everything I’d read said.
Later, though.
I just needed to make sure therewouldbe time to feed my curiosity about them later.
“He’s full of emotions. I think that makes him more dangerous on both fronts, honestly.” Sephtis turned his eyes towhere Gethin had just left, and shook his head. “I don’t want to think about what kind of favor he’ll call in.”
I didn’t either. The fact that Sephtis had so easily agreed to it twisted somewhere in my gut, warring with the rest of the guilt that had built a home there long ago. If there’d been more space for it, I probably would have felt worse. Instead, I leaned down and pulled one of the books off a stack that had been dropped behind the couch.
“I have no idea if this is going to be any better than anything else we’ve found, but we might as well keep going.”
Sephtis didn’t bother grabbing anything for himself. He just settled on the couch beside me, his eyes on the page of my book. It was just more information on Vitality. It was strong enough to completely reshape things, to make something new… but left unchecked, it could turn the world into chaos, which was another reason Reapers gathered it. Without it, Death wouldn’t have the ability to control when souls were reborn. I didn’t need to read a book to know that the stuff was powerful—it was keeping me alive, after all. I did realize how lucky I was that Sephtis had been there when I’d pulled on the thread in my chest before, though. I had no idea what would have happened if any of it had actuallyspilled.
The only thing we’d found about Death so far was something we already knew—his Reapers were his strength. They were an extension of him, a part of him.
Useless.
It was just… more useless information that Sephtis already knew, and my eyes were starting to feel unfocused.
It took me exactly five minutes before I couldn’t resist—my body drifted toward his, until I settled into the curve of his arm. The anxiety I’d been feeling slowly melted away as the coolness of his frame seeped into mine, and my voice sounded less tense when I spoke again.
“I feel like you’ve told me more about Death than anything we’ve read. Greedy for Vitality, stuck in his realm. Sounds like an absolute asshole.”
Sephtis wasn’t even looking at the page anymore. His eyes were fixed on my hair, and his fingers drifted up, carefully feathering through the strands and drawing a shiver from me. Since I’d let him touch me—since I was willingly letting him touch me anytime he wanted—it was almost like he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t even sexual. He seemed fascinated with the simpleactof touching... Of learning what every inch of me felt like, down to the way my hair drifted through his fingers.
I couldn’t really say the same thing about myself. I knew it wasn’t exactly appropriate, but the way his fascination made me feel was almost as distracting as the impending doom looming over us. It wasn’t just that it felt good—because it really did—it was the way he looked at me like he wanted to get on his knees and worship me, like I was something holy. Sephtis touched me with a reverence that made me feel like I could somehow begoodenough to be forgiven for all the ways I’d fucked up my life, for all the ways I’d failed everyone who ever mattered to me.
Feeling that just made the guilt circle back through my senses and threaten to pull me under. It was a dangerous cycle, and I could see how easy it would be to get addicted to the sensation of letting him wipe my slate clean, even if it did just come back darker when that touch was gone.
I sighed and dropped my head back on the couch, choosing that bliss for a moment. Sephtis took the invitation greedily, and his fingers drifted, tracing the line of my brows, the curve of my cheeks. It made my voice a little huskier as I spoke.
“We just need someone to kick his ass for us.”
“Mmm.” Sephtis’s hum was far away, and his fingers tracked along the curve of my lips in a featherlight touch that made me shiver. “He’s never going to come up from his domain to letthat happen. It would be easier to figure out how to wipe your presence from his radar than get him to tempt Fate like that again.”
That was the problem, though, wasn’t it? I didn’t know how to wipe anything clean; I didn’t know how to do anything but lean into the touch of his fingers when he used them to curl around my jaw so he could tilt my head back. I barely felt it when he took my book and walked it to the table behind us.
I did feel it when he stepped up behind me and bowed over my body he’d positioned so carefully.
