It wasn’t like I’d meant to nearly get killed. And I…
Shit…
“Are you upset that you had to kill someone because of me?” It sounded ridiculous, because he killed people all the time. That was what he did. That was his whole purpose, as weird as it seemed.
God, if I’d been asked a week ago whether I believed in shit like Reapers and demon dogs and assholes with wings, I would have called someone crazy.
Now…
Well, now… shit, I’d seen the red line trailing between us—I’d felt the pull of it when he used it to bring me back into my body. As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn’t say it wasn’t real.
But I wasn’t going to admit he was my soulmate. That was something he’ddoneto me. One more decision he’d made without asking; one more choice he’d taken away from me.
I wondered if he realized I was never going to forgive him if he kept doing that, even if he thought he was doing me a favor.
And now… he wasn’t answering me.Again.
The irritation I was trying to hold back for the sake of getting as far away from that alley as possible surged to the surface, and I stalked a few steps forward to catch up with him, grabbing his hand and forcing him to slow down.
“Sephtis, if you’re angry about it, don’t take it out on me. I didn’t ask you to save me.”
Again.
I hadn’t asked him to save me again. Fuck, I’d neverasked.
“I’m not angry.” He finally spoke, his voice soft, his eyes refusing to meet mine. He flipped his wrist and linked our hands together, and I quietly cursed the fact that the spaces between our fingers fit perfectly.
“Then why aren’t you talking?” I tried to tug my hand out of his and let out a little grunt at the strength of his grip, his reluctance to let me go. I completelyignoredthe way a small piece of me liked how his touch felt enough that I wasn’t really fighting it. It was either that weird-ass thread between us or the fact that I’d been traumatized. I’d figure it out tomorrow. For now, at least he was talking. If I had to be stuck with him, he didn’t get to act like I wasn’t here.
“You seem… happier when I’m quiet. I just killed someone in front of you and forced you to watch the hounds devour their soul. It seems fair that I give you time to process that.”
Another flicker of anger made me jerk his arm hard enough that we both stopped short on the sidewalk. He was leading me further out of town, toward the residential areas I’d never been to. I didn’t know where we were; I didn’t know what was going on. I was so sick of his stoicI know bestshit that I couldn’t take another step.
“You have a really bad habit of thinking you know what I need. Do you realize that?”
“I—”
“No, I’m talking now.” He finally turned to face me, his eyes slightly widened, his lips parted in a littleohof shock that would have been cute on anyone’s face other than his. I refused to call him cute or anything cute adjacent. He’d justkilledsomeone. “You’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you making decisions for me. You stopped me from dying more than once, you took my brother from me before I got to tell him goodbye. You made that… thatcupidshoot me with an arrow, so we’re tethered together. You’ve taken everything in my life that ever mattered away from metwice.”
Twice. Caiden and my freedom—the only person who ever mattered and my ability to be independent. He’d taken it all.
Sephtis stared at me, his eyes full of some fathomless depth of remorse and pain that tried to burrow past the fury I was feeling. “I never meant to take anything from you. I couldn’t save your brother. Itriedto give him more time, but I couldn’t… and I didn’t mean for this...” He gestured between us. “I never meant to trap you by my side.”
“Bullshit.”
He shook his head, stepping closer to me. “No, listen to me. I want you, Cole. I’m not going to deny it, or lie to you about it. Whatever soul Death used to create me was destined to be with yours, even though it shouldn’t have been able to feel you. I want you, but I would have waited.”
The sincerity in his voice just infuriated me even more.
“You would have been waiting a long time, asshole. Ihateyou.” Fuck, that sounded so stupid to say while our fingers were still linked together. I moved closer, like I meant to do something, but that only forced me to tilt my head back to meet his golden gaze. It left me swallowed up in the same cool presence that had surrounded me and kept me sane while I was listening to the hounds earlier.
“You can hate me. I’ll build a home in the flames of it and find joy in the warmth. I’d let you burn me alive if it meant you’d run your fingers through my ashes to scatter me to the winds, if it meant you’d breathe me in so I was a part of you. You can say it would have been a long time, Cole… but I’m willing to wait forever. An eternity.”
Fuck. Did he not realize a normal fucking person didn’t say shit like that? He really was some kind of freak of nature, a creature instead of a man… and right now, I was the one who felt like I’d turn to ash if I stayed close to him for a second longer. The warmth in his eyes, the heat that was flooding through my body, spreading from my chest and making my face flush wastoo much. It burned away the rest of my anger, leaving it as nothing more than smoldering embers in the pit of my stomach.
“Don’t say shit like that.” I finally pulled my hand from his and started walking in the direction he’d been leading us. It only took him a few steps to catch up to me, and though the back of his fingers touched mine, he didn’t reach for me again. “Now… where the fuck are we going?”
His silence nearly made me think he’d gone back to not answering me, but he finally gestured to our left. “To my apartment.”
