“Oh, I know… not forever. But…” He plucked one of the flowers, turning my hand over to place it in the center of my palm. “Maybe for a little while.”
Just a little while.
I’d never given someone time. I’d never given someone athoughtenough to give them more time.
“There’s nothing here for you, Caiden.”
He closed my fingers over the flower, leaning closer to me. “Sure there is. I never let myself feel anything like this when I was alive. I’ve been sick since I was young—too sick to think it was fair on anyone for me to have hope that thingsmight actually turn out okay. But… maybe… I don’t know…” He dropped his eyes, and the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “This is the first time I’ve felthope, Sephtis. You’re here. Thisplaceis here. It’s the first time I’ve had hopethat my world isn’t going to fall apart when this is over.”
Hope… I couldn’t change anything that was going to happen to him. I couldn’t give himhope.I didn’t know how to explain that when this was over, he wouldn’t have a world anymore.
“I can’t…” I started, but the earnest expression on his face slowly dropping stopped me, caught the truth on the back of my tongue, and made me feed him a comforting lie. “But… I can give you time.”
Impossible.
All of this was impossible, but the light that spilled back into his eyes was warmer than the non-existent sun he’d imagined earlier, and it almost seemed like I could feel it brushing against my skin in the same way his fingers had. Intangible… something I’d never felt either.
So…
What would it take to make a Reaperfeel?
“Werepeonies something you loved when you were alive?” I asked, plucking another one of the flowers and watching as a soft wind stole the petals from the stem and sent them streaming into my hair.
“Oh, they’re not my favorite.” Caiden sounded amused, and I tilted my head curiously.
“Then why?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He smiled, the expression soft and mischievous, like he was keeping a secret.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he shrugged. “They make me happy.”
“Happy.” I tried to feel the shape of the word on my tongue, but I didn’t understand it. I’d neverbeenhappy.
“You know… that warm feeling. Starts in your belly and works its way up.” He leaned forward, trailing a finger down the black front of my sweater to press gently at my abdomen.
It burned.
It made me pull back—my body still wanted to call his soul forth. Everything I was longed to finish the job I’d been sent for…
And yet…
I caught his wrist as his face started to fall, my fingers gentle as I slid them around to feel the soft beat of his pulse—a heart still thrumming. A body still fighting to live.
A body that had more to give.
A body that had never been given enough, and I…
“We could stay here forever, if you wanted,” I murmured. “In this place, in your mind, mere seconds have passed in the world outside us. But… Caiden… I can’t... I can’tfeelthings the same way you do.”
The warmth on his face flickered, and the air biting against my skin cooled. Just as soon as it started, though, it stopped. He leaned in and sighed, threading his fingers through mine and shrugging.
“I don’t need forever… just a little more time. And maybe… maybe you could pretend? If you do that long enough, maybe it could be more by the time we leave here. Then we’d both be ready for after.”
Pretend… He sounded so soft for it—so needy and desperate, and Iwantedto. I wanted to pretend.
But pretending wasn’t enough, and there wasn’t anafteronce we were done here.
