That didn’t stop me from jumping into the water as soon as Cole hit the current, and it didn’t stop me from dragging him onto the shore.
I could see it there—his soul hovering just beneath his skin, his Vitality burning bright even though every part of him feltbroken. This close, with him lingering on the edge of death, I couldfeelhis pain even more than I did when I watched him at night, drifting on the periphery of his dreams but too cautious to step into them.
I could feel it burning along every inch of my body, dipping inside my veins and twining with the Ardor that still poured through me all this time later. His loss, his agony, his sorrow held depths no ocean could fill, that left his soul eager to flee from the pain so it could start anew.
Some part of him wanted to die… and I learned another thing I wasn’t supposed to be.
Selfish.
I leaned down and blew my breath gently across his lips, forcing his soul back into the center of his chest. I let out another soft sigh, easing the slightest hint of the Vitality I’d collected earlier into his body to heal the injuries he’d sustained—just enough to knit bone and skin together. Just enough to make sure he wasokay.
Just enough that if Death ever found out, I couldn’t fathom the punishment I’d receive in return. We weren’t permitted to use the Vitality unless something supernatural tried to push a human to death before it was their time. It could reverse smaller injuries—it couldn’t have saved Caiden, but it could save Cole now that I’d forced his soul back into his body. The world was balanced; I was upsetting it at every turn and I didn’tcare.
It was worth it… because lingering with my mouth so close to his, I almost closed the distance between us.
What would it be like to kiss him?
Would I feel that burn go all the way to my center? Would his anger eat me alive, or would I be able to sense his soul calling out to the fragmented pieces I’d awakened in my chest?
Soulmates.
Even though I hadn’t let Wren use the arrow, the knowledge was still there, the draw—a connection unforged, but still lingering.
And every day, every second that passed…. I wished I’d asked him to shoot.
Cole took a shuddering breath, and his eyes flew wide. This close, it felt like my world was engulfed in a vision of spring. Bright green chased around his dilated pupils with a burst of blue.
“Are you… actually real?” It almost seemed like he was afraid to ask, and my answer came just as reluctantly.
Rules.
Every broken rule coming from my tongue in one syllable. “Yes.”
There was a moment where his eyes softened as he looked at me, where his breath came in an awed exhale and his hand lifted, pressing to my chest like he couldn’t believe I was really here.
The moment his fingertips touched the front of my sweater, his palm flat where my heartbeat should have been, recognition poured across his features and he jerked back.
“What did youdo?” he snapped, and I wasn’t sure if he was asking about now or before. I didn’t have an answer for him the night Caiden had died, and I still didn’t have one now. I didn’t knowwhatto say. The only time I spoke to him was in his dreams, when sleep stole away the vicious accusations and left him with nothing but the feelings that should have existed between us all along.
He smiled when he heard my voice then.
But Cole wasn’t smiling now. He scrambled from beneath me like I’d tried to kill him instead of saving his life, and the look of loathing blossoming across his features nearly chased away the paleness of his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Who apologized for saving someone’s life? If I hadn’t pressed my lips to his, hadn’t forced his soul back into his body… He’d been ready to give up. He would have died had any Reaper but me found him.
“You… whatareyou?” Cole sounded furious, even though his body was shivering like it had finally caught up with the fact that he’d nearly died, that heshouldhave been dead.
“I…” I trailed off, the words literally trapped at the back of my throat. Another forbidden thing—no living human was allowed to know of our existence. I’d never realized how many rules we had before I’d taken the Ardor into my body. Our movements, our actions? Everything was restricted to the perfunctory task of reaping souls. There was no room or space for anything else. I sometimes wondered if that was why Caiden hadn’t been able to tell me about Cole while we were stuck in a limbo of our combined creation.
Yet here I was, kneeled beside the same red flowers he’d brought to Caiden’s room… the same as the red field we’d been sitting in while we waited for him.
Caiden had kept me there to wait for Cole.
And I…
I didn’t know how he would feel if he realized I wasn’t a comfort to his brother—I wasn’t helping him overcome his grief. It was painted across his face like a scar, a second skin he couldn’t escape.
“You know what? Forget it.” He pushed himself to his feet and nearly stumbled forward from the sudden movement. People were already starting to make their way down the bank toward the river. As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn’t.
