Seeing Phoenix on the ground, seeing the ghost of Bishop overlayed on his features, was almost more than my mind could take.
I gasped, and it was a pained sound.
I gasped again, and I felt my body collapse over his. The only thing I could manage was to press my palms over the worst of his injuries to staunch the bleeding as I lay on top of him and shivered and tried to breathe.
I couldn’t stop it.
I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stop it.
I didn’t know how long I stayed there, splayed across his chest and trying to steady myself to the sound of his heart and the warmth of his blood before his hand came up. It was weak as it drifted across my back, and the ghost sensation made me jump. Shock made me reach for my gun, because I hadn’t expected him to be able to touch me.
He’d been so still beneath me, like he was slipping away.
Like Bishop had slipped away while I wasn’t awake to touch him, to see him. While I’d been too dead to the world to even say goodbye.
“Need… get down. Move.” His voice was strained, but he drew in a strong, clear breath and managed more words. “Fucking move, Aubrey. Before… they come… ba…” I searched his face as he drew in another pained inhalation, and his blue eyes narrowed. Locked onto me as he mouthed a word.
Mine.
His lids fluttered shut again, and the numbness that had been flooding me and keeping me paralyzed dissipated enough for me to realize that he had a point. He didn’t know that I’d taken them all out, and I had no idea if they had backup coming. I was starting to feel the pain that ripped through my body—the cuts and bullet wounds I’d gotten that needed medical attention.
And I could see the blood oozing from Phoenix’s chest, just a little darker than it should have been—carrier blood.
Blood like mine.
“Hang on,” I said, so soft I wasn’t sure he heard me. “I’ll get us out of here. Phoenix, please.” I choked on his name, choked on the emotion surging through me. It had to be because I’d seen Bishop lying there before. It couldn’t be forhim. “Just… hang on.” My hands trembled for a moment before I finally managed to pull my first deep breath. “I’ve got you. I’ll fix this.”
It was easier to say than do. I didn’t know how to get him out of here. He was big, and we were both hurt. At least it looked like the raiders I’d killed had been staying here for afew days. Maybe there was something I could use. I forced myself to take another deep breath, to calm down. Ihadto calm down.
I couldn’t get us out of here until he was better, and I needed to get us somewhere secure so I could see how hurt he really was. I took enough time to grab my bag and wrap the few bandages I had around Phoenix’s wounds before I got to work.
It only took fifteen minutes to scout the building and make sure it was secure. It looked like they’d found the storage area and turned it into their base. In the corner, they had their supplies piled up. I didn’t have to look too hard to see the Order logo on the dirty canvas. They really had gotten an entire stash of supplies. It made sense that they’d had explosives to throw at us.
At least they’d also thrown together a sleeping area. There were a few cots and blankets scattered around, and by the time I pushed them all together and piled everything up, it looked like a decent-sized bed.
I was lucky enough that there was a rolling cart parked by the supplies, probably what they’d used to haul everything in here to begin with. Phoenix was still out of it, but awake enough that he grunted and tried to help me when I shifted him onto it and rolled us both back to the room, locking the door behind me.
Which was stupid, because I’d wanted to get away.
I’d wanted tohurt.
I’d wanted him to be pissed instead of curious.
And now I was doing my best to save him, and a part of me would have given anything to just go back and tell himabout the fucking scar on my face. It wasn’t that important.
It didn’t matter that much.
It wasn’t worth…
I shook my head. My feelings were at war inside my chest as I got Phoenix into bed—the past that shouldn’t have been able to make itself known in this ugly future, but somehow it had.
And now I was silently praying that it wouldn’t play out the same. That despite the odds, someone wouldn’t have to die because they’d done their best to save me.
I wanted to collapse onto the bed beside Phoenix when I finally got him settled, but I didn’t have that luxury. I stripped him down, carefully laying his bloody clothes to the side—I’d have to rinse them later if this place had running water.
Then there was nothing left for me to do but look at all the ways Phoenix had been hurt because of me. Just seeing it made my body ache. There were cuts along his chest, shrapnel embedded in his thick muscles. There was a gash along his side that had been the main source of blood earlier. It wasn’t deep enough to kill him, but it still needed to be patched up.
The only thing I could do was ransack my bag and sift through the supplies the raiders had stuffed into the corner before coming back to him. I washed his chest carefully, first with water and then with a bottle of alcohol I recognized as something the Order used to sterilize wounds.
