“What do you mean, no?”
Shit, had anyone ever denied him anything? Judging by the incredulous look on his face, I doubted it. Or maybe it was just that I’d folded for him so fucking fast, and suddenly I was back to defiance, to the man who’d tried to run from his tent that first night he’d found me.
“I mean no. You can fuck me, Phoenix. You can bite me and mark me, you can put a collar around my throat, but that doesn’t mean you get to know me. You made me a dog—you don’t get access to the man.” It came out a little more angry than I meant it to, but shit. It was true. I’d given in to the thought of giving my body over to Phoenix completely, because letting myself get lost in feeling was so much better than being lost in thought.
And now he was ruining it.
I wasfurious.I almost pulled out my pistol and aimed it at his head.
“Is that what you think?” The way his eyes narrowed to slits of fury surrounded in dark paint made my nerves prickle, but this wasn’t going to end the way I wanted. This wasn’t going to end the way either of us wanted.
The desperation clawing at my chest was almost too much. I could see the want blazing in that stare… the desire to know.
To knowme.
But knowing meant I would have to give him my past. I wasn’t here with Phoenix to remember; I was here with him to forget. I let him fuck me toforget. Ineededto forget.Whydid he keep trying to crack me open to see my broken pieces?
“You want my scars?” The words came out vicious, and I shoved angrily at his chest. It didn’t make him stumble, but it gave me enough space between us that I knew I’d have a head start. “Fine. Let me go get some new ones for you. You can havethose.”
I turned and ran, slamming the door to the little building we were in behind me and flipping the lock as I went. It wouldn’t keep him at bay for long, but I didn’t need long.
I just needed long enough to run—long enough to find danger, because the danger he was offering now, the kind that could rip my soul open and leave me broken again? I couldn’t face it.
I’d rather face death.
A theater full of raiders sounded like the exact place I could find what I was looking for.
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
PHOENIX
“Fine.Let me go get some new ones for you. You can have those.”
It sounded to me like Aubrey wanted the world to make him bleed.
I followed after him, letting out a low grunt when I found the door locked. I wasn’t familiar with the sudden clench in my chest that forced me to back up and ram my shoulder into the wood, splintering it on the hinges.
If people were fucking stupid enough to run off on their own and get hurt, that was on them. If they didn’t have the sense of survival and self-preservation to stay together, they didn’t deserve to be part of the pack.
I rammed my shoulder into the door again, taking off at a run when it flung open. There was only one place I could think of that he’d go to find enough trouble to get hurt.
Zero had mentioned that he and Cutter noticed theraiders had weapons from the Order—guns that were just as likely to blow up in your face as they were to kill your enemy. It was dangerous.
Aubrey was being reckless.
My fingers clenched and unclenched at my sides and I stopped, freezing in place like my body recognized the fact that I was doing something other than my normal.
It would be easy enough to leave him to his own devices. It’s what I would have done if anyone else thought about pulling this shit with me.
There was even a chance he’d come back just as he’d promised, covered in new scars that he was willing to share—he’d find the release and relief that he usually found with me through the slaughter of the raiders.
The group that we were supposed to take outtogether.
The group that would do everything within their power to kill him.
My hand clenched one more time, blunt nails digging in so hard that I felt the sting of them slicing against my palm. With a low growl, I took one step forward… and then another.
