We.
He saidwe, and I watched all the life drain out of his body at the syllable. He saidwe, and it made me wonder if part of the reason those pieces were hidden so deep was because they’d died with someone else. If the reason he wanted me to fuck him so hard was because another man had left him hollow and he was chasing a ghost.
I didn’t like it.
My movements were slow and deliberate as I leaned down and picked up the knife he’d dropped. When I circled him, Aubrey’s eyes were wide, and his cheeks were a little flushed. I could see him scrambling to rebuild the walls he’d so carefully constructed, but for the first time, I could really see their cracks running all along his skin in the shape of the word he’d accidentally let slip.
And I watched them nearly crumble when I turned his blade in my hand and ran my finger along the fresh blood he’d left behind.
“Phoenix, don’t.” He knew what I was going to ask, and I knew there was no world where the question wasn’t going to leave my lips.
“Who exactly iswe?”
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
AUBREY
Who is we?
The question echoed in my head like a thousand tiny razor blades intending to cut me open and leave me flayed, to splinter bones and expose my heart.
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him—it was going to be a fucking surprise for him to learn I didn’thaveone anymore. Or if I did, it wasn’t beating.
But I could see it on his face. Phoenix had a look that told me he wasn’t going to let this go. There was a hunger behind his expression that said he was a cannibal of more than just flesh—he wanted to eat me whole, soul and all. This wasn’t the way I wanted to be devoured.
“I…” I started, my fingers clenching at my side. It would be easier to put a bullet between his eyes and walk away now. It would be easier to forget about the way it felt when hefucked me, the way I could forget when he had his fingers around my throat.
My hand came up, and the metal of the collar I wore was the same temperature as my skin.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“I grew up in a shit area with a shit dad. After I left, I roamed for a while.” I watched his face carefully to see if he’d accept the half lie. “I picked up a few skills along the way. Eventually, me and a group of people were rounded up by those scientists who used to have a building on the south side of the city.”
“The one that burned to the ground?” His eyes widened in shock, and I took a breath to see if the fire in my lungs was spreading. When I realized I could still inhale without choking on the flames, I nodded.
“Yeah. When we escaped…” I clenched my hands again, because this was the we—the part of me I wasn’t going to give him. Bishop wasn’t for anyone else. But… maybe I could work around it. My nails dug into my palm until I felt the sharp sting of blood, and I took another shaking breath. “When we escaped, we set the building on fire. Only half of us made it out. We got caught because the soldiers who rounded us up had guns and we didn’t.” I jerked my chin up, defiant and inwardly hoping this was enough. “Every person who left that building knew they needed to figure out a way to make sure it never happened again, or that they had an out if it did.”
He was silent for a moment, his gaze careful as he trailedit over me. I think he knew I was leaving out the worst of it, but…
“But you joined the Order?”
“Two years later. I realized as nice as a knife was, I could have killed the group that took us if I’d had their advantages.”
He smiled then and started toward me, and I stood my ground as he advanced, his fingers brushing up to the scar on my shoulder—the one he’d left behind with his teeth. The one he kept worrying at like he wanted it to sink so deep it would follow me into my next life.
“I’m guessing whatever makes you heal like a sonofabitch happened while you were with those scientists?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Another reason to join the Order. They were the soldiers who took us. Better the enemy you know, right?”
His thumb brushed the mark of his teeth one more time before it trailed up and tugged at my collar.
“Eat or be eaten, Aubrey. Better the enemy youkill.”
But he dropped his hand from my throat and started walking again.
