It took me that long to figure out where they’d put him, and a few days past that to get my watch duty properly transferred so I could be in the holding cell area.
Holding cells, fuck. We really were working for monsters, weren’t we? They’d neatly divided out the storage area into six stalls, putting up walls with fences and boards like they’d been trained to do it all along.
Aubrey Malcolm was at the very end of the row, sitting on a bed and idly spinning a little scrap of metal between his fingers. I wasn’t sure where he’d found it—they’d take it from him if they saw it.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to have that.” My voice was careful when I spoke, and his gaze darted up to mine. As soon as our eyes connected, the air punched from my chest—beautiful. They were so fucking beautiful, even surrounded by bruises and cuts. The latter bit of knowledge made my mouth twist in frustration. Iknewthis place and my squad weren’t bringing people back here for good reasons, but seeing the physical manifestation of it on Aubrey’s face was too much.
“Are you going to come in here and take it from me, soldier?” One dark brow hitched, and there was a challenge in his voice I couldn’t quite ignore. My eyes dropped to the lock separating us, and I frowned.
“I don’t have the key.”
Aubrey glanced down at the metal in his hand, then back up at me. “That’s too bad. I might have given it to you.”
The mischief in his eyes nearly made them glow—green like a demon, green like temptation. Green like everything I wasn’t allowed to have, like everything I wasn’t allowed towant.
The next day,when I came back to Aubrey’s cell, I didn’t have a key, but I did have food. Maybe it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it was better than coming empty-handed, and I had no idea if they were feeding the people they brought back to the holding area any better than they were feeding the ones they had in the front cells. As far as I could see, they gave them exactly enough to meet their nutritional needs, and made sure they had clean water.
But little bars packed with all the protein and vitamins a person required to function weren’t any way to live.
Aubrey’s eyes widened when I slipped a bit of dried fruit through the bars of his cell, but he stepped forward and took it with a cautious expression.
“Why?”
It was just one word, and I didn’t realize a single syllable could hold the weight of the world. The soft shape of his mouth formed into visions of trauma, into mistrust andpainthat I couldn’t begin to imagine.
I’d never thought I was particularly lucky—I didn’t think anyone born in these times was—but I hadn’t realized until this moment that I didn’t understand exactly how much worse it could be.
I didn’t know one word could change a man’s heart that much.
His purpose.
I pulled another piece of dried fruit from the little package I had and deliberately took a bite so he could see it was safe to eat. He kept his eyes on my lips until I wondered if I was going to accidentally choke in front of him.
Finally, I swallowed and leaned forward. It was closer than we were supposed to get unless we were going into the cells with a purpose and a weapon. Close enough that I felt the metal of the wall separating us bite into my arm as I leaned against it.
He was still staring at me, though, still waiting for an answer I wasn’t sure I knew how to give. I finally blew out a breath and sighed.
“I don’t know. You just look like you could use some company.”
He stared at me for a few more seconds before finally bringing the peace offering to his mouth and taking a small bite. I didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up, the soft expression that he quickly pushed aside. “I mean, I could use some fresh air, and maybe some bandages. Can you do that too?” Aubrey leaned toward me. Reflex told me to back away—I had no idea what he’d done with that metal, or what his intentions were.
“I wish I could.”
I stayed where I was as he dropped his eyes from my mouth to the center of my chest and tilted his head.
“Bishop.” My name on his lips was sin. It broke the chain of command and every rule and regulation I’d had drilledinto me during training. “Hm. I didn’t know they let people who actually had a heart into the Order.”
His fingers moved, slow and telegraphed, stretching through the metal to carefully grab my tags so he could run his thumb across my name. My breath came in a shuddery sigh that was probably more telling than any words I could have said.
“There are a few of us,” I finally managed when he dropped his hand back between the metal and took a few steps to sit on his makeshift bunk, looking up at me as he took another bite of the dried fruit in his hand.
“Guess not enough to stop them from rounding up groups of people just trying to survive, though, huh?” Even with the accusation, he was rubbing the fingers he’d touched my tags with together like he could still feel the press of metal despite the distance he’d put between us.
“This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.” I’d heard about this city even before I’d joined the Order. It rained so much that most of the people were carriers, and the population had dwindled from the constant exposure—people who survived stayed in the incubation phase more often than not, whether they were exposed to rain or bites. There waspossibilityhere. Hope that the scientists could find a cure, or at least synthesize something that could let the rest of the world process the virus the same way. Where I came from, a few states over, I’d seen entire families turn because they accidentally drank contaminated water. This place was supposed to behope…but looking at Aubrey stuck in a cage, I was starting to wonder what the price of hope was really worth. “I thought they were looking for a cure. I’m so sorry.”
It was a shit apology, and I didn’t deserve the way his lips quirked into a smile, even though it split the cut open and made him bleed. He licked the trail of crimson away before answering.
“What cure? Do you know what that rain did? It woke humanity up—it gave them a reason to embrace their own vicious instincts. That’s it. Maybe we turn to rot in the end, but we were going to anyway, weren’t we? I’d rather go out in a blaze of fire than let myself drown in the storm.”
