“I called for a healer,” Liam croaked, his voice thick with emotion. “But it was too late.” His throat bobbed as he scrubbed a hand across his face. “He asked me to tell you that he loved you.”
Aya tried to speak, but she couldn’t find the words. Grief climbed up her throat instead, strangling her breath and forcing tears from her eyes as Will stroked her hand.
“I’m sorry, Aya,” Liam whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Aya shook her head. It wasn’t his fault. She reached for Liam with her free hand, Will keeping a steady hold on the other, and she let her grip on Liam’s fingers convey what she could not speak.
This swell of emotion…it was so large she was afraid she might drown in it. But for once, she did not try to bury it.
Instead, she let it come. Grief, anger, sadness, guilt. Each one slammed into her, a tidal wave of feeling that tangled in her chest and raked her shoulders with sobs.
She let them come, let them batter her until, finally, those waves settled into something gentler. Something more manageable. Something not deep enough to hide what had been waiting below…
Relief.
75
It was over a week before Aya was ready to leave the infirmary. Will stayed by her side, watching as she regained her strength. With it came her impatience, and by the tenth day of forced bed rest, Will wondered if she might snap.
“You’re grumpy,” Josie remarked from where she was sitting in the corner of the room, her feet propped on Aya’s bed. And though her voice was light, Will could see the grief still lining her features. It dulled the rich brown of her eyes and dampened the usual brightness of her smile.
She hadn’t wanted to talk about Cole. At least, not with him. But Will wondered in those times that she’d forced him from the room, grumbling about his need for a bath and fresh air, if it wasn’t just his needs she was attending to.
He hoped Josie was finding solace in Aya. If anyone knew what it felt like to lose their best friend, it was her.
“I’mbored,” Aya corrected, but there was a hint of petulance to her tone that nearly made Will laugh. He’d seen Aya in many shades: angry, bitter, cutting. Butpoutingwas new.
He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Aya didn’t do well with being idle, especially when there was so much to be done.
“I should be helping rebuild the city,” she continued, her arms crossing over her chest. “Or…tending to the wounded. Or burying the dead.”
She tensed as the last word left her mouth, her own grief shifting to make room for Josie’s.
Josie’s gaze darted to her lap, the corner of her full lips pulling down.
Liam had found Callias’s body and preserved it so Aya could attend his burning ceremony. They would not cremate him until Aya was out of the infirmary.
Cole, on the other hand, would be transported back to Rinnia when Aidon and Josie left, so that he could be buried in accordance with the customs of Trahir.
Aleissande had made sure of it. She hadn’t allowed Josie to be the one to retrieve his body, and Will was glad for it. Josie did not need to remember him in such a way.
He was happy Josie had found the general. He’d seen them together more this week, their heads bent close and voices low. And though her happiness was blunted by her grief, it was still there all the same in Aleissande’s company.
Love was complex. It soothed the sting of sadness, and yet it could not remove it completely. Will should know. Aya hadn’t spoken much of her father this week, but he could see the agony curling around her heart, taking up more space now that the vicious relief of their survival had begun to wash away.
He liked to think his presence helped. No—heknewit did. But this was a hurt he could not heal.
“I just meant…I could be helping,” Aya said quietly worrying her bottom lip as she watched Josie carefully.
But Josie had tucked her grief back away, and her eyes were clear when she met Aya’s gaze. “I know,” she assured her.
Will traced a finger over the vein on the inside of Aya’s wrist, his affinity sweeping behind it in a tender caress.“I think you’ve earned a bit of a break,” he murmured. “Besides, you heard Suja. No affinity use for the next two weeks.”
Josie smirked. “I bet she doesn’t last two days.”
“No bet,” Will replied without looking away from Aya’s face. “I’ve learned not to gamble with you and Aidon.”
“Speaking of Aidon,” Josie sighed, her boots thudding to the ground as she sat up. “Do we think he’s going to ask Dauphine to give up her mercenary ways and join him in Trahir?”
