He wanted to reassure her. To tell her that he would get them out of here – would getherout of here, even if it killed him. But he could not lie to her. Not anymore.
She had gambled her life for his. After all he had done. After what he had asked her to do just yesterday. He shuddered as he thought of whose arms he’d tried to push her into, of how wrong he’d been.
Will had spent years trying to convince himself that keeping Aya at a distance was better for her. For both of them. He had spent years locked in an internal battle of what he wanted and what he thought was right.
He had pushed her away. And yet Dominic still knew how to hurt her. He had used Will to do it.
Will buried his head in her neck, letting his lips find her pulse. He breathed her in deep, as if he could take her intoxicating scent with him into whatever came after this life.
The seven hells, most likely, if the gods were judging his actions.
‘Aya,’ he whispered again, the truth he’d kept buried for years rising to his lips. Another broken sound escaped her as she dug her nails into his skin, as if she knew what he was about to confess.
As if she knew what it meant if he did.
‘No.’ She shook her head, tears dripping down her face as she turned in his hold and gripped the front of his shirt. Her eyes searched his as she shook him slightly. ‘Don’t do that,’ she rasped. ‘Don’t give up.’
Will slid a hand to her cheek, a sad smile tugging at his lips. As if his confession was anything but a surrender to her – to a truth he had kept inside for too long.
She had chosen him. After he’d been a complete and utterfool, she had still chosen him. He dragged his eyes down her dress, the fabric ripped and torn.
She was beautiful. Always so godsdamn beautiful.
‘I saw you walk down those stairs … and I wanted you so badly that I thought I might set this whole godsforsaken world on fire just to have you,’ he breathed as he brushed a tear off her cheek.
She released another muffled sob and tugged him closer, her fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt. ‘Read me,’ was her only response.
Will’s hand stilled on her cheek, his eyes darting across her face. ‘I can’t. Ever since the Dawning—’
‘I shielded against you.’ The confession was soft, her face open. ‘I didn’t want you to feel me die, so I closed myself off to you entirely. I didn’t realize it until last night.’ Aya slid her hands to his arms, squeezing once. ‘Read me.’
Will frowned and searched her face again, his thumb stroking her cheek just once. She closed her eyes at the touch, a soft whisper falling from her lips. ‘Please.’
He could not deny her. So he cupped her face more fully, his heart pounding as he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the sensations overwhelming him.
Will focused on Aya. So Aya focused on Will.
She took in the stubble on his jaw, the muscles that were clenched tight just moments before loosening as he tried to read her. She memorized the way his hands felt on her cheeks, the roughness of his skin at such odds with the gentle way he held her. Her eyes traced the planes of his face, marking every line, every scar, every inch of him. She let every other feeling disappear as warmth filled her chest, as that surge paced through her blood and threatened to undo her completely.
Galda always told her nothing was more powerful than control. But Aya was beginning to wonder if perhaps the trainer had been wrong.
Because the burning she felt inside – that rush as his hands cupped her face – was strong enough to rattle the veil.
Perhaps even obliterate the Beyond.
Will’s lips parted, his breath leaving him in a rush as his eyes flew open to meet hers. The heat in them was enough to burn down the entire world. He stared at her for a moment, his chest heaving, his eyes wet.
Aya slid a hand to the base of his neck, her fingers curling in his hair as she brought his forehead to hers. ‘No matter how far the fall,’ she whispered.
It was the only confirmation Will needed before his lips crashed against hers. Aya slid her hands over his arms, his muscles pulling taut under her touch as he pulled her closer, his lips gentle and yet demanding all at once. A sound escaped her – a mix between a sob and a moan, those emotions still rising, still threatening to overwhelm her entirely.
She let them.
Her back hit the wall as he pinned her to the stone, his hands settling on her hips, his leg pushed between hers. Will groaned as Aya’s hands tugged through his hair, and the sound had her doing it again as he trailed kisses and nips down her neck. She let her head fall back against the wall, blinking away the searing in her eyes.
Will’s lips left her neck, his eyes meeting hers as his hand cupped her cheek. ‘Did I hurt you?’ he panted. Aya gave a small shake of her head, her lips pressing together.
It was too much – to have him only to lose him. To know that it could’ve been different. The agony of it was like an unending weight on her chest.
