‘I don’t know.’ He rubbed his face, a dull pain throbbing behind his eyes.
‘Do you think it’s even possible?’
‘I don’t know.’
He didn’t want to talk about this. Not with her. Truthfully, he didn’t want to even consider it – couldn’t bear to without wanting to hit something. He was exhausted, and angry, and if she didn’t stop looking at him like that, he might very well do something he knew he would regret.
But Aya stood, undeterred. ‘Has it ever happened in the past? A Visya married to the Crown?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Well, do you truly think the idea of a saint changes anything? That people would even accept it?’
Her questions snapped his control, his words rushing from him before he could stop them. ‘I don’t know, Aya! I don’t fucking know!’
Aya stared at him, her full lips parted in surprise at his outburst. He swore, pushing himself off the counter and stalking into the sitting room. He should’ve known better than to come here, especially when he didn’t have himself in check.
‘And what about you then?’ she demanded as she followed him.
‘What about me?’
She stepped in front of him, blocking his path to the door. Her eyes glowed like blue embers as she refused to back down. ‘You told me to get close to him. Did you know all along? Is this whatyouwant?’
His hands fisted at his sides as he fought to keep his voice steady, but it trembled anyway as he growled, ‘What’s it going to take, Aya? What more do I have to do to prove to you that I am not your enemy? What’s it going to take for you to trust me?’ He knew she could see the anger written on his face, could maybe even sense the way it came off him in waves.
He wasn’t truly angry at her, but at the mess that was his whole, entire fucking life – the mess it seemed the gods would never free him from.
She folded her arms, her voice low as she said, ‘You didn’t answer my question.’
‘No,’ he forced through clenched teeth as he stared down at her. ‘No, I don’t want to watch you ensnare him. I don’t want to watch him drag his eyes all over you. I don’t want to watch him make you laugh and blush. I don’t want to watch him touch you like he—’
He bit off his words as if he might choke on them.
She was silent for a heartbeat, her eyes flaring in recognition.
‘You’re jealous,’ she breathed.
‘He is falling inlovewith you!’ he proclaimed, his arms flinging wide. As if the fact could provide any adequate explanation for the agony he was in. As if she understood at all.
‘And you’re jealous.’
He felt a muscle feather in his jaw. She took a step closer to him, her head tilting slightly as she considered him. She was so close – too close. Close enough that her chest brushed against his as she stared up at him, everything he was feeling reflected in her gaze. The trepidation. The nerves. The longing.
It was the longing that had him cupping her face in his hands, his voice low and rough as he said, ‘And so what if I am.’
A tremor racked her body, her breath coming in shallow pants that matched his own. ‘I do not belong to you,’ she whispered, but there was no cockiness to her words. There was nothing but the same burning he felt as her body melted against his.
He smiled grimly, pushing a stray curl out of her face as he considered her; considered how the way she was looking at him was enough to bring him to his fucking knees. Her breath caught as he leaned in and brushed his lips against her cheek.
‘You don’t belong toanyonebut yourself,’ he breathed against her ear, grinning as he felt her fingers dig into his biceps. Her eyes were bright as he pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers, his lips a breath from her own. ‘Don’t you forget it.’
It took every bit of his self-control to pull away from her then. To let his hands fall from her face and let the cold airrush in as he stepped back, marking the goosebumps that prickled her flesh. She stared at him, her lips parted, her chest heaving as much as his own.
‘Goodnight, Aya.’
It had been an impossible feat to pull away from her. To leave her when she had looked at him with that darkened stare that had him wondering if maybe, just maybe the gods hadn’t completely forsaken him.
Will sighed, leaning against the rough brick wall. He didn’t want to be here, lurking in the shadows outside one of the seedier taverns in town, waiting. But he couldn’t shake that insistent feeling that had been pressing in on him since they had been cornered earlier that evening.
