My phone buzzes - another text from Jamie.Ready whenever you are, baby.He's in a separate holding room, waiting to join for the second part of the interview. The endearment makes my chest warm, even as the reality of what we're about to do hits me again.
Only a few months ago, when Jamie first walked into our team meeting, I was terrified of even looking at him for too long. Now...
"Two minutes!" someone calls out.
Declan settles into his chair across from me, adjusting his notes. "Remember, we can stop anytime. This isn't a gotcha piece - it's your story to tell."
I nod, thinking about how far I've come since that first press conference with Jamie, when I was so careful to maintain professional distance. When every question felt like a potential trap.
"Thirty seconds!"
My phone buzzes one more time. Jamie again:You've got this. I'm right here.
"And we're live in 5... 4... 3..."
"I'm here with Seattle Sasquatch captain Rylan Collings," Declan starts smoothly, his professional tone carrying none of our earlier familiarity. "Rylan, thank you for choosing to share your story with us today."
"Thanks for having me." My media voice kicks in automatically, but I force myself to soften it. No more perfect captain's mask. That's the whole point.
"You've been captain of the Sasquatch since their inaugural season, led them to a Stanley Cup in that first year. But today you want to talk about something more personal?"
Deep breath. This is it. "Yes. I've spent my entire NHL career - my entire life, really - hiding an important part of who I am. I'm gay."
The words feel different here than they did with my dad, and with the team. More final, maybe. More real.
"That's not an easy thing to share in our world of pro sports," Declan says gently. "What made you decide to come out now?"
I think about Jamie's smile this morning, about my dad's acceptance, about Nick's jersey hanging in my bedroom. "I've had amazing support from the organization, from my teammates. But mostly... I'm tired of hiding. Tired of being half of who I am."
"You lost your brother Nick when you were teenagers." Declan's tone stays gentle. "He was also a hockey player?"
My throat tightens but in a good way. "Yeah. He was... he was incredible. Would have made the show, no question. But more than that, he was always completely himself. Never afraid to be exactly who he was."
"That must have had a profound impact on you."
"It did. After we lost him, and then my mom a year later... it was easier to focus on hockey. On being the perfect son, the responsible captain. To push everything else away." I meet Declan's eyes directly. "But it turns out that's not really living, is it?"
"No," he agrees quietly. "It's not."
"My father's currently in recovery," I continue, the words coming easier. "He's working on himself, and facing a lot of hard truths. And as he's been doing that hard work, I've realized that I need to do the same thing."
"How has the team responded?"
A genuine smile breaks through. "Better than I could have imagined. I know it's a cliche, but those guys are my family. I was worried I could lose them, but I found out there was never a chance of that."
"And the organization?"
"GM Carson Wells, Coach Shaw, and the entire front office have been incredibly supportive. They've known for a while that having an inclusive culture was important - we've got several out players in our system already."
Declan nods. "Including Jamie Pirelli, who joined the team this season."
My heart races at Jamie's name, knowing what's coming next. "Yeah. Actually, about that..."
"Jamie Pirelli made history as the first openly bisexual player drafted into the NHL," Declan says. "I understand he's waiting to join us?"
I can't help smiling. "Yeah, he is."
"Before we bring him out, can you tell us about your initial reaction when you learned he'd been traded to Seattle?"
