RYLAN
Coach Shaw's voice fades in and out as he goes over our power play strategy. My pen moves across the page in precise lines, taking notes without processing the meaning of the words. Fifteen minutes left in the meeting. Fourteen. Thirteen.
Jamie's sitting in the back row. He hasn't looked at me once, but he has dark rings under his eyes. Because of me. I put those there yesterday when I hurt him with my careful words.
Louis shifts in his seat. He can always tell when something's off with me. But I keep my eyes forward, back straight, my armorfirmlyin place. Just like always.
Ten more minutes.
Nine...
Eight...
My dad's voice from yesterday plays on a loop in my head:"We always knew, Ry. Your mother... she wanted to wait until you were ready to tell us."
Seven minutes.
Six...
Five...
Charlie's getting into some story about a restaurant mix-up, his British accent sounding stronger as he gestureswildly.NormallyI'd be smiling, but today I'm hearing him speak, but the words aren't being processed. Too much other shit rattling around in my brain.
Austin's knee bumps mine under the desk. It's his usual subtle check-in when I'm too quiet. How many times has he been there for me over the years, while I kept on hiding? I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I could never ask for a better friend.
Three...
Two...
My heart is racing like a fuckingFormula Onecar as Coach Shaw wraps up and asks if anyone has anything to add. This is it.
One...
Time to stop hiding.
"Yeah."My voice sounds a lot steadier than I feel. I get out of my chair and turn so I'm facing everyone. Lou sucks in a breath."There's something I need to say."
The room goes quiet. Even Charlie stops fidgeting. In the back row, Jamiefinallylooks at me, and the raw hope in his eyesnearlysteals my voice.
I clear my throat."I've been your captain for three and a half years."My tone is neutral. It's like I'm talking about line changes or killing power plays, not making a life-altering announcement."And in that time, I've asked you for your trust, your respect, and your honesty."
I suck in a deep breath.
"But I haven't done the same for you. And it's time that changes."
The silence in the room thickens. Someone, Santucci, maybe, shifts in their chair.
"I'm gay."
JAMIE
Rylan's words hang in the air like smoke after a fireworks show.
After yesterday's press conference, I convinced myself that I've been imagining everything between us. Thinking I somehow read too much into every touch, every night together, every moment with Rylan over the last couple of months. But now...
The room is so quiet I can hear the hum of the fluorescent lights. Rylan standsperfectlystill at the front of the room. His face is pale,probablyfrom nerves, but he keeps his head up and his blue eyes have a steely glint in them. He's ready and braced for whatever hit he might have to take.
Charlie's first to break the silence."What..."He clears his throat and tries again."Fucking hell, mate. Why didn't you tell us before?"
