But, regardless of my personal observations of Jamie Pirelli, having him on our team is going to be complicated.
"Additionally,"Carson adds over the murmurs,"we're getting their farm-team goalie, Tanner Sinclair."
Louis's body stiffens beside me at that.
"Pirelli and Sinclair will both be here tomorrow for the first day of Camp,"Carson says."I expect everyone to make them feel welcome."
I glance around the room, taking in the mixed reactions. Some guys look excited while others seem concerned. Austin's face behind me is unreadable, but his jaw is clenched. As captain, part of my job is to help smooth this transition, to make sure the team chemistry doesn't suffer too much from losing Liam and Darren, and try to integrate these new players as quickly as possible.
Carson's gaze sweeps the room one final time."Thanks for coming in early, everyone. The weight room's open if anyone wants to get a workout in."His mouth quirks up in a slight smile."Obviously, that's not required, since camp hasn't started yet. Union rules."He winks.
A few chuckles ripple through the room. Some of the guys are already standing, probably eager to hit the gym and work off some of the tension from this announcement.
"Rylan,"Carson says, catching my eye."Got a minute to meet?"
I nod, gathering my nearly empty coffee cup. Louis shoots me a questioning look as he stands, but I shrug.Your guess is as good as mine, dude.
The knot in my stomach tightens I follow Carson to his office. I'm sure he just wants to talk about helping the new guys fit in, but my mind races as I try to sort out what this change means for the team.
I've spent thirteen years in the NHL building walls so high that I'm not sure I know who I am behind them anymore. The thought of this kid rolling in here and owning who he is without apologizing or hiding makes my chest ache with the familiar feeling of shame.
"Coffee?"Carson asks, moving to the fancy machine in the corner of his bright, corner office while I take a seat in one of the leather club chairs by the window.
"No, thanks,"I say. I don't think my nervous stomach would appreciate more caffeine at this point.
He takes a seat in the chair across from mine. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, he meets my eyes."So? What are your thoughts?"
I hesitate. Carson's a great GM, and he's always encouraged us to be honest, even if he doesn't like what we have to say, but this situation is different. The decision's been made, the trade is done and it doesn't matter what I think.
"Well… I'm not sure what to think yet, but I know you make all trade calls with the team's best interests in mind."
He shoots me a wry smile."Very diplomatic answer. Well done, Captain, the PR folks would be thrilled. But I want to talk honestly right now. This conversation will remain between us. I'd really appreciate your honest opinion here."
I glance out the window over Carson's shoulder. The snow-capped Olympic mountains blur as I think about the disaster that was our last season. We spent most of the year at the bottom of the standings, without a snowball's chance in hell of making the playoffs. It was easily the worst season of my entire career, and I'm not anxious to repeat it. I suck in a breath."Well, the guys are frustrated and disappointed after the last couple of years."I clear my throat."I'm a little concerned that adding someone like Pirelli could make the room a bit… volatile."I swallow hard."But we'll make it work,"I add hastily.
Carson nods."I understand your concerns. I'm well aware of Pirelli's reputation as a problem child. But Travis Shaw got to know him while he was down in Florida, and he's got a lot of confidence in the kid."
Carson leans back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face."Look, Rylan, I need to be straight with you about something. Ownership isn't happy."
Ownership being pissed is never a good thing.
"They wanted to blow the whole thing up after last season. They pushed to trade everyone except Tremblay and start fresh."He holds my gaze."I fought hard to keep this group together. I was able to convince them that our core is solid, and a few strategic changes could make a huge difference."
My earlier coffee turns sour in my gut. Last season was awful, but I didn't believe we were that close to the team being dismantled. Since we're still so new to the league, I guess I thought the world might cut us a little slack. But I guesswinning the entire thing in our first season set some pretty high expectations.
"This trade for Pirelli?"Carson continues."It's a compromise. The owners wanted wholesale changes, I wanted minimal disruption. We met in the middle."He drums his fingers on the armrest."But I'll be honest with you, Rylan. If things don't turn around fast, I might not be able to hold them back."
The weight of responsibility settles more heavily on my shoulders.
"How long do we have?"My voice comes out rough.
"Hard to say. But we need to show significant improvement by the All-Star break."His expression is grim."They're not going to sit through another season like last year."
Well that's pretty damn clear. The All-Star break is in February, about halfway through our 82-game season. Either we make this work—fast—or the team gets torn apart.No pressure.I rub at my temple, a headache coming on.
"According to Travis Shaw, Pirelli was in a difficultsituation. The Jaguars..."Carson pauses, choosing his words carefully."Well, I'm sure you've heard the rumors. Travis doesn't think the kid got a fair chance to show what he's capable of."
I've heard the rumors about the shit that goes on in the Jags' locker room. Everyone has. There's never been anything concrete, but it's enough to paint an ugly picture of a team that's very"old school". It certainly wouldn't be the most welcoming team for the first openly queer player to be drafted. But Florida won the draft lottery that year, and Pirelli was unquestionably the best player. They would have had to out themselves as complete bigots if they'd passed him over. Taking anyone else would have made their prejudice crystal clear, and it would have been a PR shitstorm.
