"Afterthat, my Dad... broke. He started drinking. At first, only at night, butthenhe started during the day too. He was never able to go back to his job at the mill after my mom…"He huffs."So these days I spend most of my time waiting for calls from the cops or the bar owner, telling me he needs to be picked up."
"God, Rylan. I'm so sorry. It must be so hard,"I say gently."Watching someone you love hurt themselves."
"I'm all he has left."His voice is tight with somethingthatsounds like guilt."I left him alone, inthattown, with all those memories."He takes another shaky breath.
"We were supposed to play in the league together, you know?Thatwas what Nick and I used to talk about when we were little. We wanted to play side by side and win the Cup together."He laughs bitterly.
"Hey."I sit up because he needs to hear this. Maybe no one has ever told him this before."Your success doesn't dishonor Nick's memory. And you're allowed to have your own dreams, Ry."
"You know what's fucked up?"His voice is barely a whisper."Sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm so..."He gestures vaguely in the semi-darkness."Controlled. Rigid. It's like if I can keep control of everything, maybe I can stop anything else bad from happening."He huffs again."Stupid, right?"
"That's not stupid or fucked up,"I say softly."It's human."I pause before adding quietly,"And for what it's worth... I think Nick would be proud of you."
His breath catches. It's barely audible, but in the quiet darkness, it might as well be a shout. I have to resist the urge to cross the space between our beds and slide in beside him. To pull him close and wrap my arms around him and somehow protect him from all the pain inside him.
But I don't.
The silencethatfollows is heavy. When he finally speaks, his voice is rough."I don't usually... I never talk about him. Notevenwith Lou."
"Thank you. For talking about him with me,"I say.
There's a pause before he answers."Thank you."The words are simple, but there's a warmth in his tonethatmakes my heart race."We should sleep."
"Night, Rylan."
"Goodnight."
I stay awake a little longer, watching the city lights play across the ceiling, thinking about how much trust hejustplaced inme. It feels bigger than hockey. Bigger than being teammates or roommates.
Eventually, I drift off too, lulled by the sound of his steady breathing from the other bed.
Chapter 9
RYLAN
The same playlist I've used for more than ten years pulses through my headphones as I tape my stick with methodical precision. The ritual settles my nerves and brings focus to the chaos both in my mind and in the locker room.
Pirelli, on the other hand, isn't quite so precise. His tape job is quick, almost careless. He's bobbing his head to whatever's playing through his AirPods,occasionallysinging along under his breath. His energy radiates outward, infectious enough that even Austin cracks a smile.
"Okay, boys, you know the plan,"Coach Shaw announces, striding through the room."Keep it simple. Remember what we worked on. This might be preseason, but it's important. Stick to our game."
I tie my skates, left first, then right, like always. Jamie's already suited up, his helmet dangling from one hand as he chats with Charlie.
"Five minutes," Coach calls out.
Jamie catches my eye as I stand. His smile is easy and confident."Ready, Cap?"
I nod, keeping my expression neutral despite the way my stomach flips at his casual use of the nickname.
The familiar sounds fill the tunnel as we make our way out. Skates on rubber mats, stick taps, the low murmur of the crowd filtering through. Jamie falls into step beside me, and his presence is both unsettling and grounding at the same time.
Focus, Collings. I force my mind back to the game.
When the puck drops, I win the face-off cleanly, sliding it back to Austin. The familiar rush of adrenaline hits my bloodstream.
Jamie streaks up the right wing, his speed creating space. I cut through the neutral zone, and Austin's pass hits my tapeperfectly.
Two quick strides. Jamie breaks behind their defense. My stick islike an extension of my body as I pass to him.
