But Rylan's already moving toward the door."Come on, Pirelli,"he calls over his shoulder.
I haul my ass out of my chair and follow Rylan and Charlie into the locker room. I'm relieved that Rylan was there to prevent me from screwing up, but I'm also pretty damn dejected. Even now, in a new city with asupposedlyfresh start, everyone is still trying to define me by my sexuality first, my hockey second. It's depressing as fuck.
After gathering our stuff, the three of us head toward the players' exit when a tentative voice calls out,"Um, excuse me? Jamie Pirelli?"
I turn to find a teenager, maybe thirteen or fourteen, clutching a Sasquatch jersey from last season's Pride Night. The white fabric is covered in rainbow and trans pride pins, and there's a bisexual pride flag patchcarefullysewn onto one shoulder.
"Hey."I smile,genuinelythis time. Talking to young fans,especiallyqueer kids always gives me a boost.
"I just..."The kid twists the jersey between nervous fingers."I wanted to say thank you. For being out. It's so awesome to have a queer player on the Sasquatch! It means a lot to kids like me."
Beside me, Rylan goes very still.
"Thanks for telling me, Ireallyappreciate it."I reach for the jersey."Want me to sign this?"
The kid's face lights up."That would be amazing!"
While I'm signing, they tell me about playing for their local community team, and how their teammates have beensurprisinglycool since they came out as non-binary last year."My captain and our coach have been awesome. They shut down anyone who tried to give me crap."
"Sounds like you've got some good leadership on your team,"I say, glancing at Rylan, who's watching the interaction with an unreadable expression.
"The best."They clutch the signed jersey to their chest."Thank you so much!"
After they leave, Rylan, Charlie, and I walk toward the parking lot."That was brilliant,"Charlie says, his green eyes wide."Does that happen often?"
"More than you'd think,"I reply to Jamie while trying to read Rylan's expression. He's still silent."It's the best part of being out."
"Cool,"Charlie responds."Right, my car's over there, and I've gotta get home to let the new puppy out. Sandy's gonna murder my ass if that dog pisses on the carpet again. I'll catch you tomorrow, mates."He heads off in the direction of his car, leaving Rylan and me.
Rylan's still silent like he's deep in thought."That must feel good. Talking to kids like that,"he saysthoughtfully.
"Yeah, it does,"I say."It's easy to focus on the hard parts of being an out athlete, but most people don't think about the positive impact it makes on kids like that."I bump his shouldergentlywith mine as we reach our cars."Plus it feels fucking awesome when they tell you how much it means to them."
His eyes meet mine for a brief moment before he looks away."Yeah,"he sayssoftly.
"You good?" I ask, suddenly getting a strange vibe.
He shakes his head and looks around like he's trying to reorient himself or something.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll catch you tomorrow,"he says, and we each get into our cars.
I pull out first, and when I glance in my rearview mirror, he's sitting in his driver's seat, watching me, his expression thoughtful.
Chapter 7
JAMIE
The team bus pulls up to our San Diego hotel just as the sun is setting. Even though it's late September, the air is warm and the sky is slowly turning a deep velvety blue, with the stars just beginning to peek out. But even with the gorgeous surroundings, my gut is churning. It's our first road trip of the preseason, and my nerves aren't from the game—I can handle a preseason game without nerves. No, the swarm of butterflies in my tummy is because tonight I'll be sleeping only a couple of feet away from Rylan.
Charlie spent the ride from the airport rambling on about the restaurant in Little Italy he picked for the team dinner, but I barely registered a word, because I was way too focused on our captain, sitting a few rows ahead of us.
He spent the whole flight poring over his game notes like he was prepping for the SATs. He set up a workstation Martha Stewart would be proud of: about seventeen different highlighters with color-coordinated post-it notes, and everything arranged in perfect right-angles to each other.
Honestly, it was kind of impressive. Almost as impressive as discovering just how far the Sasquatch ownership goes to make sure we’re comfortable. The team's jet is in a totally different ballpark from what I'm used to from the Jaguars. It's outfitted with plush leather seats that fully recline, perfect for actually getting a decent rest. They also turn into legit workstations if you need to focus, and there are sections with seats clustered around tables, so we can play cards or whatever. It was most definitely not a bad surprise.
The hotel lobby feels too warm as we file in for check-in. Veterans check in and pick up their keys first, but since my roommate happens to be the captain, I don't have to wait with the younger guys. Rylan steps toward me, holding out my key card, his posture military-straight."Here."He shoves it at me without meeting my eyes.
"Thanks, Cap."I make sure our fingers don't brush, but the air between us seems charged anyway.
