Chapter thirty
Penn
Ican’t believe it’s finally happening. After what feels like endless nights tweaking every last detail, the time has come to win over the hearts—and wallets—of some of Seattle’s wealthiest philanthropists so we can make sure the Open Door not only gets off the ground but also has a secure future.
I’m in the process of wearing a hole in the floor of a conference room in one of Seattle’s downtown hotels. Thanks to Martin, and with a lot of help from Kelly, every last detail has been completely taken care of. All I need to do is keep my shit together enough to convince these people that donating to The Open Door shelter will make a real, substantial impact on the lives of the kids that need our help and on the community at large.
Martin has spent hours coaching me over the past few weeks on the ins and outs of fundraising, as well as the nuts and bolts of running a shelter on a day-to-day basis. The Open Door is in a better position than many of Martin’s other projects because I’m able to fund such a large chunk of the startup costs using my trust fund. But as I’ve learned, the shelter will require ongoing funding from many streams if it’s going to be successful overthe long term. And my job now is to convince this room full of wealthy people to hand over a chunk of their money to us so we can make it happen.
It’s been less than a week since Hunter took me to Snoqualmie Falls and fucked me into a tree on our hike. Even though I’m a basket of nerves, thinking back to it brings a smile to my face and causes that pleasant tightening in my lower belly. Fucking hell, it was so hot. We’ve spent every night together since then, but I asked if we could put off the official “Big Relationship Conversation” until after this presentation. I’m reasonably confident that Hunter wants to be with me, and I know that’s what I want, but the thought of dealing with our friends demanding to know every detail was too much to deal with while also trying to get ready for what feels like the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Hunter has been amazing. Even though he’s been busy with his own work projects, he’s come to my place every night, usually getting there before me and making dinner for us and then helping me for the next few hours as I run through my speech and working through possible questions I could get asked. Between him and Martin, and with Kelly making all the logistical arrangements for us, I’m as prepared as humanly possible. But now that the day is here, I feel strangely detached.
“Okay, Penn, the projector is set, and I’ve double-checked the sound system,” Kelly announces, breezing into the conference room, a clipboard hugged to their chest. Martin trails behind them, juggling a laptop and a stack of glossy brochures.
“Okay, great,” I say, nibbling on my pen. Someone told me to write it down every time a worrisome thought jumps into my head about the presentation. Something about getting it out of my brain and down on paper will free up space in my head. I don’t know. At this point, I will try literally any suggestion to help calm me down.
In my mind’s eye, every possible disaster scenario plays out on a loop: stuttering through my speech, tripping over the power cord, a sudden plague of locusts…
“Penn. Penn! Hey, now, just breathe.” Martin sets down his armful of tech on the boardroom table and gives me a look. “I can see you startin' to spin out of control over there. Take a deep breath and remember your why. Just focus on that, alright? You know your presentation inside out. You’re as prepared as you can be. I’m here to help you tackle any questions. It’s going to go grand, my friend. I've every faith in you.” He lowers his voice and looks around to make sure no one else is within earshot before continuing. “Besides, you charmed the pants off Hunter, so how tough can a room full of suits be?”
I snort. “Charming those pants off was a lot more fun than this,” I retort.
Martin is the only person I’ve told about Hunter and me hooking up on the cruise. He doesn’t know about our little forest hookup from last weekend, but he’s aware of how much time Hunter and I have been spending together and how much help he’s been to me. The man's no fool. I'm sure he knows what's up.
“Speaking of charming,” Cooper chimes in from the doorway, “you’ve got two more RSVPs. Aniket Desai and Lucas Werner are also coming. And also, whose pants are you charming off? Inquiring minds want to know.”
“Aniket Desai? The guy with the AI startup?” I ask, ignoring his question. Aniket is a relative newcomer to the Seattle tech scene, according to Coop, and he’s kind of a black box; no one knows much about him. Cooper extended this invitation to him after someone suggested Aniket might be interested in getting involved with queer causes.
“Yep, and Lucas is big into cloud computing. He’s super into giving back to the queer community,” Cooper confirms, flashingme a thumbs-up before disappearing back to his cell phone and whatever Big Deal he’s got going on this week.
Cooper and Logan are here with me today because half the people in the room are there because of those two. Kelly is also here because they helped pull it all together, providing invaluable admin expertise, but Hunter and I decided he would stay out of this one. He didn’t want to be a distraction for me. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but right now, all I want is to hear his calm, reassuring voice telling me I’ve got this.
“Great. More people to witness my potential crash and burn live and up close.” I sigh.
Martin hits me with a reproachful look. “None of that negative self-talk, Penn Thompson.”
Kelly comes back into the room and drops into the chair beside mine, flipping open their notebook. “I get this is a big deal, Penn, but believe me when I tell you you’re ready. I’ve seen my share of these kinds of presentations, and yours is good,” they begin. “And remember, the bigger the crowd, the better the chance they'll start competing with each other about who can donate more. I know it’s stupid, but I’ve seen it happen.” They smile.
“Wow. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not,” I say, and Kelly rolls their eyes.
“Sweetie, it doesn’t matter what gets them to donate, only that they do. And for the people here who aren’t into dick-measuring contests, your genuine belief in what you’re doing comes through loud and clear. That’s what they want. Then you just have to convince them that you have the ability to make it happen. Because you were smart enough to hire Martin to help you, you’ve got that covered too. Trust me, Penn. This is going to go great.”
I pause for a moment, gnawing on my pen again. I know Kelly’s not the kind of person to blow smoke up my ass. If they’re telling me the presentation is good enough, I know it’s true. Ijust need to silence that fucking voice in my head telling me otherwise. Fuck, I wish Hunter was here.
Less than two hours later, the big conference room is full of well-heeled men and women, some of whom appear regularly on lists of the wealthiest people in the world.
“Deep breaths, Penn,” Kelly murmurs from beside me, their hand squeezing my shoulder. “You’ve got this.”
“Thanks,” I manage with a shaky smile. Kelly bustles off to take care of some detail, and I watch as Coop and Logan laugh and chat with other tech elite. Martin is busy going over some last-minute figures, so I decide to check my phone one last time before turning it off. Glancing at it, I realize I missed a text from Hunter during my last practice run-through. When I see what he’s written, I let out a quiet snort of laughter, and the huge knot of anxiety in my stomach shrinks considerably.
“There’s no chance you’re gonna blow it today, but in case you have an irresistible urge, I’ve got something else you can blow when you get home.”
I know we haven’t defined exactly what we are yet, but Hunter’s knack for knowing exactly what I need, exactly when I need it, gives me more confidence than almost anything else could.
A few minutes later, Kelly gets everyone seated, and it’s time to get this show on the road. My heart pounds with anticipation as I take a deep breath and start talking.
“Thank you all for coming,” I start, glancing around the room. Jesse and Jeff Greenwood have come in from California, and they both send me encouraging smiles. As my gaze makes its way to the back of the room a surge of warmth fills my chest, spreading quickly throughout my whole body.
