“Okay, Tyler. I know this is a lot to take in, especially if you haven’t seen her for a while. Alzheimer’s is a real bitch—it steals the people we love right out from under us. I wish I had some better news to share about your mom, but right now, that’s all I’ve got. She’s stable, and we’re taking good care of her. The doctor will be in tomorrow. He’s usually here around midmorning to do rounds. You should be able to talk to him then. You can also try the care home people since they’re the authorized guardians in your absence. But right now, I think you should go home or back to wherever you’re staying tonight and try to get some sleep.”
“Right… Yeah. That’s what I’ll do. Right,” I mumble again, and I’m sure Tonya must think I’m having some kind of breakdown because I can barely string together two words. “I’ll. Um. I’ll be back tomorrow. In the morning. Tomorrow morning.”
Tonya smiles and nods. “That’s a good idea. I’m on shift until 7:00 a.m., but I’ll be back tomorrow evening if you’re here again. And Crystal is on the day shift—you’ll like her. She’s lovely, and she’ll take good care of your momma.”
“Okay. Right. Thanks. Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” I say, turning to head toward the elevator.
I somehow make my way down to the main floor and outside, where I collapse on a bench just outside the emergency room doors. I sit there for a few minutes, trying to absorb what I’ve just seen and heard. First of all, she’s hurt, like, badly hurt. And who knows how long she’s going to have to be in the hospital. Second of all, she’s now become so violent that she’s attacking other patients at her care home.
Finally, I pull myself together enough to text Sam that I’m ready. The hotel is close by, so in less than ten minutes, I’m climbing into the white pickup with the cute Hot Dam Homes beaver logo on the door. It’s fucking insane that only a few hours ago, I was happier than I could ever remember being in my life, and then the shoe drops.Typical.
“Hey there,” Sam says when I get in the truck. “How is she? Did you learn anything?”
“Not much,” I lie. I can’t face the truth right now. And I can’t face the way Sam is going to look at me. The way he’s going to pity me when he realizes the shitshow my life is. Fuck. I don’t want him to have to put up with this kind of crap. It’s not fair. This is my mess to deal with, not his.
“I need to go back to the hospital tomorrow morning to talk with the doctor. I’ll learn more then.” I stare out the window as Sam drives us through the seedier part of town and into the nicer area where he’s found a decent hotel.
We’re quiet until we get to our room, and I’m grateful for him getting taking care of everything. The bed looks big and comfortable, and I’m so goddamn exhausted I feel like an extra fromThe Walking Dead, but I need to get out of my head for a while. And I know of one surefire way to make that happen.
I turn to Sam as soon as the door to the room closes behind us, launching myself at him. His eyes grow wide with surprise as I attack him with my mouth, desperately biting his lips and ripping at his shirt, trying to get as close to him as I can.
“Hey, hey—are you alright?” He pulls back slightly and looks into my eyes.
“No,” I say simply. The truth feels good. “I need you to help me get out of my head for a little while, Sam. Please?”
His eyes darken as he looks at me, like he’s thinking about it, wondering if this is a good idea, fucking me while I’m clearly upset. “Please, Sam. I need to get away from my thoughts for a bit. Please.” My voice breaks as he holds my face between his hands, looking at me with the utmost seriousness.
“You tell me to stop and we stop, no matter what, okay? No questions asked, we’ll stop.”
I nod, throwing myself at him again, clawing and begging. “Yes, I promise I’ll tell you if I need to stop. Just… I need… I need you to take over for a while… Sam, please…”
“Okay, it’s okay, babe. I’m here,” he says in a gentle voice.
CHAPTER 25
SAM
Oh, fuck.Does he mean what it sounds like? Because it sounds like Tyler wants me to take control ofeverythingfor a little while, and that thought makes me swallow hard as blood rushes south to my dick.
“You’re sure, Ty? I just want to be clear… You want me to be in charge? Tell you what to do and when?”
His cheeks flush bright pink, and his eyes drop, embarrassed. “Yeah. I just want to feel, not think.”
My heart is pounding, but I know I need answers before we do anything. I’ve played around with kink a little, but it’s been a long time. I’m also keenly aware that Tyler’s incredibly vulnerable at the moment, but I want to give him what he needs if there’s any way I can.
“Okay, babe, we need to talk for a second first.” I lead him to the edge of the bed, where we sit down. “I need you to tell me what you’re thinking. Exactly what you want to try. We have to make sure we’re on the same page.”
Tyler looks down at his hands for a moment before he shifts his gaze to me. His voice is steady and strong when he speaks. “I know what I’m asking for, Sam. I need you to… I want you to be in charge. I want you to control me. Control everything I feel. I want to feel pleasure when you want me to, pain when you want me to. I want you to tell me when I can come. I want you to be in charge.”
Holy shit.I swallow hard. Yup, he means what it sounds like. “Okay, Ty. We can do that. But we need a safe word. I need to be sure I’m not going too far. Do you want to use the traffic light system? You say red to get me to stop, yellow to slow down, and green means you’re good.”
He nods eagerly. “Yeah, I can do that. I just need to get away from everything in my head.”
“I know, babe,” I say, caressing his cheek lightly. “I’ll help you forget everything for a bit. I promise, baby.” I place a firm, strong kiss on him. I search his eyes for a moment, looking for fear or reluctance, but all I see is hunger and desire.
“Okay, Tyler. First, I want you to stand and take your clothes off for me. Slowly.”
He sucks in a breath, and his pupils dilate. “Okay,” he says in a breathy voice and immediately stands up and peels off his T-shirt. “Will you undress too? Please?” he asks almost shyly.
