“That’s actually the best part,” I say. I made a few big decisions over the last couple of days. And they affect both of us.”
“What?” he says softly.
I shift so I can turn and see his face before responding. “I'm stepping back from the day to day running of the company. I’ve given Hunter the job and I’m going to focus more on the creative side of things. Which means I don’t have to be in the office as often.”
“You did?” Case’s eyes are round with surprise, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as if he’s holding back a smile.
I nod. “I did. Michele called me a couple of days ago, and she gave me shit about putting the company at the top of my priority list. I was all twisted in knots about you, and what to do about us, and she just cut through all the bullshit and told me to pull my head out of my ass and go get you. She made me see that if I want this chapter of my life to turn out differently than the last one, I need to change my priorities.”
“Oh my god,” he says, allowing the smile to take over his face. “Matt, that’s fucking amazing. So, you’ll be able to spend more time here? With me?” he looks like a little kid who's just been promised a puppy.
I nod. "I think I would have made this decision even if we weren’t together. I was even thinking about it before you arrived at the cabin, but just hadn’t allowed myself to see that I could actually make it happen. Michele just reminded me.”
Case laughs. “It sounds like I owe Michele a big thank you.”
“Possibly.” I smile. “But, I just want to make sure for the record–is this okay with you? I didn’t discuss it with you first, and if you’re more comfortable taking things slowly, I don’t have to-“
Case stops me by leaning forward and planting a kiss on my mouth. It’s a sweet, almost chaste kiss, but it holds all kinds of promises. “I want you here. I want you here all the time,” he whispers, gently tracing the curve of my jaw with his fingers. “I talked to my mom about you. She said something similar to me about pulling my head out of my ass. She clued me into the fact that I’ve allowed fear to hold me back from a lot of things, especially since Danny’s death. But I’m ready to stop letting fear make my decisions.” He clears his throat, and my grip tightens on his hand.
“I’m scared, but I realized the other night that trying to push you away isn’t going to help me, anyway. It’s too late for that. I love you, Matt. I’m completely in love with you, and it’s scary, and perfect and exciting, and I.. I just love you. I’m not going to let fear take that away from us.”
Tears fill my eyes as I lunge at him, crushing our mouths together in a kiss that feels like forever. We cling to each other, letting our mouths explore and taste and savor each other. Finally, we have to break apart for air, and I cling to him gasping. His eyes are bright as we smile at each other. “I love you too, Case. I love you so much I hardly believe it. I never thought I’d be in love again, and everything about us is different than what I’ve known before, and it’s so much better than I could have ever imagined.”
He shuts off my excited babbling with another kiss, and when he pulls back, he’s laughing. “Let’s take this celebration to the bedroom, Mister Cartwright. I have a few things I want to do that will show you exactly how much I love you.”
After Case shuts down the fire, and we move to the bedroom, a powerful feeling of rightness settles over me again. Similar to the way I felt that first afternoon at the cabin. I know, right down to the marrow of my bones, that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m with Case. I’m home.
Epilogue – Christmas Eve, Two Years Later
CASE
“Hey,comecheckthisout,” I call over my shoulder to Matt, who’s sitting on the couch just inside the sliding glass doors that open onto our patio. He sets down his book and gets up, closely followed by our rescue mutt, Lou. He slides the glass door open enough so they can step onto the big deck at the back of our cabin tucked away in the Rocky Mountains. He stands beside me at the railing and lets out a soft gasp as he takes in the unbelievable show happening in the sky above us: bright greens and blues dancing and waving across the sky. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Northern Lights so clearly.
This is the first year we’ve been celebrating Christmas at our own mountain cabin. It’s hard to believe the changes we’ve been through in the last couple of years, but I can honestly say they have been the happiest years of my life.
“Oh my god, it’s so beautiful,” Matt breathes, his face turned up to the sky as he watches the lights move and undulate above us. I, on the other hand, can’t seem to tear my eyes off him. Two years later and I’m still fascinated by how beautiful he is to me. His dark brown eyes are shining with excitement, and when I put my hand on the small of his back, not able to keep myself from touching him, he turns to me, and I can see the love in them.
After we decided to go all in on our relationship, it wasn’t long before Matt moved down to Carlsbad with me. We keep his home in Seattle, as we spend a lot of time there when Matt needs to be in the office or when I meet with Penn at his shelter, who is now contributing even more to our research project. Matt's kids and Michele also use the house when they’re on the west coast, so it gets plenty of use.
This cabin is something we decided to do very shortly after we got together. It just took us a long time to find the right place. Since we’re in California most of the time now, we decided the location didn’t have to be within easy driving distance of Seattle, it just had to be close to an airport. We found this place online less than a year ago, and once we realized it’s an easy drive from the airport in Calgary, Alberta, we knew this was the place. It needed some renovations, which were finished a couple of weeks ago. We arrived last week, and we’re going to be here until the end of January. We'll have family and other have visitors for several weekends, but we’re both perfectly happy to settle in and exist in our own little bubble by ourselves, recapturing some of the same magic from those first days at a different mountain cabin.
As we stand watching the lights, I move so I’m standing behind him, my arms around his waist, loving the way he melts back into me, trusting I’m there to hold him up. “This is incredible, right?” he murmurs, gently running his fingers over my hands clasped over his abdomen.
“So incredible,” I whisper back to him, dragging my nose along the tendons of his neck and nibbling on his earlobe.
We stand at the railing for a long time, just watching the sky, but eventually the lights start to fade, and Lou starts to whine–his way of telling us it’s time for bed. Spoiled mutt.
I shut off the fire table and the string lights and follow Matt into the house, smiling when my gaze lands on the Christmas gift he gave me today.
It’s a beautiful print on canvas of my favorite family picture. The one with all my siblings during our last ski vacation together before Danny died.
I was moved to tears when I opened it. Matt did such a good job of keeping it a secret. I don’t know how he managed to slip the old photo out of the house without me noticing, but he did, and I’m so happy. It's perfect here in our mountain getaway, close to several world-class ski hills. I can’t wait to show my family when they get here in a few days.
I stop in the kitchen on my way to the bedroom, just to putter for a few minutes and bask in the perfection of this place. We've made a tradition of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches as our Christmas Eve dinner, and it's been perfect. I can’t believe how happy this life has made me, and I’m so thankful I didn’t let fear stop me from going after the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
MATTHEW
I let Lou out to do his business before heading back upstairs to the main floor of the house where the living room and our bedroom is. I can hear Case puttering around in the kitchen so as soon as I brush my teeth I grab the little black box I have hidden in one of my drawers, and snuggle into bed. I smile, as I always do, when I see our gay Santa-bear sheets. Hunter’s husband, Penn, was able to tell us where he got them. Apparently, they’re quite popular with a certain crowd.
