Mrs. Hammel sat in a chair opposite Father. “I’ve decided to move into town.” Her lips quivered. “There’s nothing left for me at that mining shack. I’ve found a house and had my belongings moved in. I only waited for you to get back before I moved.”
Father considered the woman. “I have purchased a house for those in need. You’re welcome to live there.”
“Thank you, but I want to be independent.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I need to say goodbye to the past so I can move forward.”
“Very well. We wish you all the best. I’d like to pray for you and your future.” He bowed his head and did so.
“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d best get Mary settled in our new home.” She called Mary from their bedroom, scooped up a valise, and led the child away.
Addie stared after the woman. She thought she could leave the past and start anew. If only it was that simple. No doubt she would be surprised by how often the pastreturned without invitation and at the most troublesome times.
“Will she really be able to forget the past?” Addie hadn’t intended to ask the question aloud.
Father and Mother exchanged looks before Father spoke. “I don’t know that she means she can forget it, simply not let it have more importance in her life than it should.”
Addie pretended to understand.
“You’ve done that too.” Father didn’t know her past had never been forgotten, nor did he know it had recently slapped her across the face just in case she thought she’d put it behind her.
“She told me moving forward begins with forgiveness,” Mother added.
Forgiveness? Addie had always thought she’d come to terms with her parents’ murder. She’d found relief when Morton Sturm was hanged. Discovered purpose and belonging with the Stones. And then she’d met Nash. She’d opened her heart to him before she knew his identity.
Was God playing a cruel joke on her? Testing her?
That evening as she prepared for bed, she pulled out her journal and opened it to her last entry.
She began to write, letting her thoughts and concerns flow from her fingers much as she used to let her words pour out, especially to her mama.
Hi, Mama. I know you can’t read this. But I feel like I’m talking to you, and you are listening. You were always so patient and understanding with my childish fears and concerns. I am no longer a child, and yet I still have fears and concerns. If anything, they’ve become bigger and more overwhelming. I told you about the man I met—Nash—and how I learned to care about him.He never said he loved me, but he gave me reason to think he did. He gave me hope for a future together.
She recalled how he’d held her to comfort her, how he invited her to see his ranch.
Like I said, his father was Morton Sturm. How can I look at him and not think of who his father is? Am I judging him?
After all, he hadn’t committed murder. He wasn’t even living nearby when it happened.
Not only hadthe Stones taught her to seek consolation in her Bible, so had her mama. She’d helped Addie memorize many verses. “If you store them up in your mind, they will come to your remembrance when you need them.”
She opened the pages of her Bible but didn’t read anything as one such verse came to the forefront. “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” The verse had been a comfort and challengemany times in her life.
Was she wasting the precious days God provided by holding to the past?
Another thought followed that, and a shout rose to her lips. She managed to hold it back. Not only was this the day the Lord had given—it was the life He’d given. One in which she should rejoice and accept the good things He’d given instead of wearing sackcloth and ashes.
Instead of overlooking the possibility that Nash loved her because she knew without a shred of uncertainty that she loved him. It was a truth she couldn’t miss once she stopped dwelling on her past.
She pulled out a sheet of paper, and her pencil flew over the page as she wrote to Nash, begging forgiveness for her harsh judgment and unforgiveness.
I’d love to see your ranch and the house you built if that invitation is still open.
How should she sign the letter?
She smiled and chuckled. Why not go all the way?
