“It poisons your lungs. Of course it’s gross.” I shrugged, smoking again.
“Then why do you do it?”
“Because you get used to it, and it becomes a habit. All you can do is poison yourself day after day.”
“Do you think it’s less poisonous doing a little at a time?”
I took another long drag before answering her.
“Your body gets used to it. So, yeah.”
“But it really tastes awful,” she repeated, reaching her hand out to me. I passed it to her this time; she smoked it herself.
I glanced at her. She noticed. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and then looked down, embarrassed.
“What?” she asked, irritated.
“Nothing.”
“Are you listening to me or not?”
I curled my lip into a grimace and grumbled.
“What’d you say?”
“That you should quit. And not just smoking.”
I broke into a derisive smile.
“Why is that? Let’s hear what the princess has to say.”
“Because it’ll kill you. You know that.”
“Who says I’m not already dead?”
“And tell me, do those reheated e-girl quotes from circa 2018 impress the ladies?”
She furrowed her brows and curled her lips into what looked like a childish snicker. The weed was starting to hit her.
“You’re such an idiot. I’m just giving death a nudge. Maybe that way it’ll come find me earlier than planned.”
She didn’t seem like she could mask her emotions any longer. But she wasn’t laughing anymore. She stared attentively at her short, bitten nails.
“We all gotta die of something, you know? Not knowing when it’ll happen is fucking exciting. Don’t you think?” I pressed, passing her the joint again.
She shifted her eyes nervously, then pulled up the hood on her red hoodie, letting two blond locks of hair peek out.
Red looked good on her. She almost looked pretty.
“I don’t know. I think it’s stupid to destroy yourself for a little moment of pleasure. I’m not gonna have any more. Here.”
She handed me the joint, shaking her head no.
“So you’ve already decided to live a straight-edged life without even a bit of pleasure?”
“I didn’t say that.” She balked, almost offended. “I’m just saying it’s impossible to live your whole life that way like you do, James. It’s impossible to survive it.”
“I have a thing for impossible things.” I blew the smoke out at her. She was hooked. I felt it. I saw it.
