Of course we didn’t talk about it.
“I meant after dad.”
“Men just ruin your life.”
“Dad didn’t ruin yours.” I pursed my lips. I felt hurt by that unfortunate comment.
“June, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that I wouldn’t be in the right headspace to get into a serious relationship right now anyway.”
“How do you know when someone wants something serious?” She stared at me attentively.
“I’m asking for a friend,” I said sarcastically as I sank into my shoulders, embarrassed by the fact that I was really asking for relationship advice from the woman who’d given birth to me.
“Well, it’s more complicated for adults, but in your case, you don’t need a boyfriend. You don’t need anyone. You have your whole life to waste time chasing after one, just enjoy being this age without forcing things.” My mom had never given me a single piece of useful advice, but now that things were so confusing with William, I was even ready to listen to her perspective. Was I really that desperate?
“People fall in love a million times at your age, they suffer, they spend sleepless nights waiting for a text or phone call, until you find out an upsetting truth: What you felt wasn’t love. It’s not worth throwing yourself into a million new experiences that’ll only waste your time and cost you your self-esteem.”
“You’re telling me to not live my life, you do know that. Right, Mom?” And here I felt guilty for being the more selfish one.
“No, I’m just telling you not to dive headfirst into something when there aren’t any strong feelings involved. If you fall in love, well, it’s different in that case.”
“But how do you know when you fall . . . well, yeah.” I was asking for a friend, obviously.
“You wouldn’t be asking me that if you were in love. You’d know, and that’s that,” she finished before leaving the room in sky-high pumps that I’d never seen her wear.
Had she really gone shopping without me?
But most of all, did I have to end it with William? The situation wasn’t going anywhere.
“Ah! Remember, you’re tutoring Jasper at six thirty,” I heard her yell from the kitchen.
Great, even more trouble just around the corner.
I rode at a leisurely pace that afternoon next to the pretty houses and gardens illuminated by the golden sunset.
James had warned me not to come to his house again, but did I care? Of course not. I asked him for one simple thing: to not screw with me at school. If he didn’t have any intention of treating me with even a little respect, I didn’t see why I had to put up with his choices.
Jasper waved to me from the front door as I leaned my bike against the wall and looked cautiously behind him. He led me to the kitchen, all proud of himself, and showed me his math notebook.
“Hey. Are you alone? Did you already do your homework?”
I looked at him expectantly, hoping he’d answer that he did it yesterday. He didn’t say anything.
“Okay, let me see,” I said.
I didn’t remember middle school math being so easy. A few years ago it seemed like a jumble of numbers and formulas, but now everything was much clearer.
“Everything’s right, Jasper. Bravo.”
He made a sly grimace. It was his way of smiling. I was starting to get to know him now. Jasper pulled the hood on his hoodie up and motioned for me to follow him to the living room.
“Because I’m only here to play video games with you,” I commented sarcastically.
Jasper handed me the controller, looking serious.
“We have to study. Let’s study for a half hour and then play video games for a half hour,” I suggested.
But my suggestion didn’t last, because Jasper shrugged, pointing at the stack of already-finished homework.
