“It’s another story for me, June. It’s a choice.” There was no hesitation in his voice, and that terrified me.
“How could that be a choice? I don’t get it,” I whispered.
“June, I need them.”
“None of this makes any sense.” I was too upset, so I repeated the phrase out loud without any tact.
“It does to me. You said I could open up to you, why are you acting like this?” William’s murmur pierced me. I felt so guilty.
He was right; I was ready to judge him without even understanding everything that was behind all of it.
He lowered his eyes, and I buried myself in his shoulder. I saw him take a deep breath.
“How are you feeling, Will?” I was concerned.
“Sometimes all this makes me feel alive, and other times . . .” His voice cracked.
I squeezed the hand on his knee, which seemed to make him trust me, because he continued.
“Sometimes I come here to feel the opposite—feeling alive isn’t enough for me anymore.”
I couldn’t breathe. I was frozen.
“Sometimes I can only think about bad things, June. Really bad things. And when I can’t handle them anymore, I just want to—”
“Cooper, your turn.”
There he was in front of us again. The sketchy guy.
William gave me a faint smile and then escorted me to a group taking a break by the barriers near the track.
“Stay here with Jackson, okay? We’ll talk after.”
Still shaken by his confessions, I could only nod. But when he turned around, I started walking away.
“June? Where are you going?” asked Jackson, when he understood that I didn’t have any intention of staying to watch William risk his life. “June! He said you have to stay here!”
“Look at me, Jackson.” I pointed at my face with the tip of my index finger. “Do I look like someone who lets people tell me what to do?”
I turned away. I had already pinpointed James from far away, sitting on the hood of a car making out with a brunet I’d never seen before.
“Hunter?”
He pretended not to hear me.
“Can you please come here for a minute and talk to me?”
His put his hand up the girl’s minidress, making her moan.
He was doing it on purpose. I was grossed out, but not enough to stop.
“You’re such a coward! You put your best friend’s life at risk just for your own interests!” I shouted.
As if they were under a spell, his hands lost interest in the girl’s body, and James jumped off the hood.
“What the fuck did you say, White?” he attacked me.
“I could’ve sworn you didn’t have a girlfriend,” the girl on the hood whined, her dress up her thighs.
