“There are too many secrets, and I think it’s better to get some distance from each other before one of us starts to really feel something.”
As soon as I finally said it out loud, I almost couldn’t believe it.
Will’s lips curved down, probably because seeing me ready to leave wasn’t what he’d expected.
“Why? Tell me why you insist on focusing on something like that. Everyone has their own secrets. It doesn’t seem like you’ve told me everything about your past.”
“Will, it seems like you don’t hold me in high enough regard to trust me. If we aren’t honest with each other from start to finish, it doesn’t make sense to see each other. Even just giving it a shot is useless.”
Something came to a standstill in his light eyes, as if he was holding back an emotion. I closed my eyes when he leaned in to kiss me.
“Okay,” I heard him whisper.
“What?”
“You’re right. I should be more honest with you.”
I sighed.
“Give me time and . . .”
I took his face in my hands, and he smiled.
“Can I come with you?” I asked again.
“Yeah. I want you to trust me, too, June.” Our lips grazed each other’s softly.
But I was unaware of the shitstorm I was about to walk into.
31
June
I told Will all about my countless moves, we talked over reheated pizza, and right after dinner Jackson picked us up in his fire engine–red pickup truck.
He poked his blond head out the window and blew out a cloud of smoke.
“Hi, June.”
I got into the back seat, and Will sat in front.
“Jackson,” I replied, making eye contact with him in the rearview mirror.
His eyes were lined with black. His sharp white cheekbones were tinged with red, and his hair was lightly teased back. He looked like a ’90s grunge star with pop influences.
“You know he’ll be pissed, right?” I heard him say after a few minutes.
“Don’t worry about it,” answered William, nervously moving his leg around. The night fell, but even in the dark I recognized where we were immediately. It was the same place we’d gone to get Hunter on the night of my first date with William.
Jackson parked next to a row of sports cars. We went past the place with the neon sign and headed to an old, abandoned rink. The atmosphere was unsettling to put it lightly, hazy with clouds of smoke. I had a burning desire for Will to take my hand right then, but I didn’t have the courage to make the first move.
“Weren’t they go-karts?” I asked, pointing at the dirt road.
“What go-karts?” chortled Jackson.
Our small talk got lost in the empty space. I recognized James, wearing a black leather jacket, a vape pen between his lips, with tousled hair, in the middle of a group of bigger guys.
“James!” Jackson yelled.
