“How the hell would I know?” he answered, his gaze slowly becoming increasingly vacant.
“So what are you doing here? Were you looking for me?”
“Absolutely not.”
But who did I want to fool?
I stepped toward him. He did the same. He grabbed me by the hips.
“So long as I’m always ready for you, right?” he mumbled, tickling the hollow of my neck with his lips.
James wasn’t Brian.
The edge of my dress crumpled quickly under his expert hands. I shouldn’t’ve encouraged him to touch me; in fact, I should’ve told him to stop.
“Ari, how can I resist you when you do this?”
I stretched out my legs as his knee made space between my thighs.
“Have you ever tried?” I smiled, even if I shouldn’t’ve. There was nothing to smile about.
James was terrible. He never made me feel special. It didn’t make any difference to him whether he was hooking up with me or any other girl. I knew he was with Tiffany during the entire summer, even though she was his girlfriend’s best friend. I knew that he spent the night somewhere else every night, that sex was something that he took for granted, that he had to have his hands on at least two girls or he wouldn’t even have any fun. James was unscrupulous and immoral, but damn it, he still made me feel desired.
“You’re wasted,” I groaned, looking at his dilated pupils.
He gave me a half-assed smile. At least he had an excuse. What was mine? His tongue was sharp when he talked to me, but his lips became irresistible when he started kissing me, and I knew how it would end up when he squeezed me with his arms. I felt his hands on my body. They were already all over me, and I couldn’t stop touching them.
No, not okay. I gotta stop.
I groaned when he flung me into a bathroom stall. I heard the door slam against our shoulders. He stopped kissing my neck to find a condom. Too quickly. This was all happening too soon after I’d told him goodbye.
He turned me around against the wall. Waves of boiling quivers rushed over my stomach and skin.
“James.”
He continued leaving a trail of long kisses along the bare nape of my neck then lifted my dress and squeezed my ass, sending my lower stomach up in flames.
“Tell me what the fuck you want from me, Ari,” he wheezed, out of breath.
I didn’t have the courage to answer. I leaned my forehead against the wall, trying to understand what to do. But there wasn’t much to understand. I wanted everything he was doing to me, nothing more.
Except I wanted it to be with the person I loved.
I turned around suddenly.
“We shouldn’t see each other anymore. I think that’s best for both of us.” I blurted the words out quickly, as if it was a compelling need. The need to break this spell that I was under. That was my reason for saying it. If I didn’t say it right then, I’d keep on making the same mistakes.
James stared at me speechless, as I adjusted my dress on my legs. I wasn’t very convincing even to myself, but he still pushed the square packet back into his pocket.
I tried to push the dark lock of hair on his face away from him, but he moved away, almost disgusted.
“You really screwed me over.” His words cut the air, causing me to snap out of it quickly. My head stopped spinning too.
“James.”
His chest rose and fell under his gray hoodie. He was a little sweaty but always gorgeous.
“Say something,” I begged.
