Ridiculous man.
I tie the fabric off tightly, cinching the knot in the middle of his palm. He hisses, taking in a breath between his teeth. “I have some dried Feverfew petals from Elspeth,” I say, tying off my makeshift bandage. “It’ll numb the pain and keep your wound from festering.”
He nods, his face drawn with pain. Then, all of a sudden, he presses his uninjured hand firmly against his mouth. He’s laughing.
I can’t believe it. “What the hell is so funny?”
He’s laughing so hard he’s crying. I watch him, unsure what to do as he’s overcome with hysteria. He’s probably in shock.
“You accused me of having feelings for you, and I almost died,” he chokes out. “You almost killed me.”
At least his color is back. I raise an eyebrow. “And?”
He wipes his tears with the back of his wrist. “This is exactly what I was trying to tell you. You’ll be the death of me.” He tries to stifle his laughs.
“All this because you can’t face your feelings. Just like a man,” I harrumph.
He bows his head in what looks like shame, then starts to chuckle again.
I frown at him. “It’s fine,” I continue. “We’ll…talk about it later. Just—sit there and let me get the medicine.”
Feeling more determined than scared, I leave his tent and return quickly as I can with my rucksack. As I pull out the tin of Feverfew petals, Dietan crawls to sit on his bedroll. He props his elbows on his knees and lowers his head in fatigue.
I kneel next to him, grinding the dried petals to powder between my fingers. “I’m warning you, this is going to sting. But you’re welcome in advance.”
Without asking, I take his wounded hand and unwrap my makeshift bandage. To my relief, the bleeding has mostly stopped. I sprinkle the ground petals onto the cut, and he doesn’t flinch, even though I know it stings like crazy.
I wrap the cut again, this time with the ever-clean gauze I purchased from the apothecary along with the herbs.
He flexes his fingers when I’m done, and I’m relieved he still has use of his hand. “Tingles,” he says.
“That’s good. It means it’s working.” I pull his hand back toward me and examine it closely as he flexes it. Even now, I can’t help but admire the strength in his hand, how beautiful his fingers are—like every part of him—and I start to blush, thinking about how he had pressed himself against me, the heat between us…
“What’s the verdict?” he asks.
I snort as I tidy up and close my rucksack. “You’ll be right as rain soon. You’re lucky I thought to buy supplies. Helps to be prepared on the road.”
“That’s why I asked you to come with me,” he points out.
“Yeah, so you’ve said. You just want me here because I’m useful, practical,” I say, trying to keep the disappointment from my voice.
“But youareuseful and practical. Is that such a bad thing?” he asks.
I shrug. I’m so tired of being seen as nothing more than a convenience.
After a moment, his shoulders slump. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He’s apologizing for the wrong thing, but I let it go.
“I wasn’t scared,” I lie. I was terrified. Seeing him so close to death shook me to my core, and I still feel faint. “What happened just now—when you couldn’t breathe. That was the Rings calling the Whisting, right?” I ask.
He sighs and drags his other hand down his face. He looks as if he’s trying to smile, but he can’t quite meet my eyes. “Yeah. Since I don’t know how to control the power inside me, I can’t risk being with anyone because I…” He trails off as if choosing his next words carefully. “You saw what happened on the bridge. That soldier is lucky he only broke a few bones. In the past…I’ve killed people. Accidentally. I never mean to. But they died because of me.”
I freeze, like an icy hand suddenly gripping my heart.
Died because of him?
I’m not naive. I’ve seen Dietan use his sword to protect me. He’s about to ride to war at his father’s side, and bards will sing of his bravery and strength. Of course, he’s probably killed people…he’s a prince who has been called to battle, but by usingthat power?
He’s hanging his head, picking at the gauze around his hand. He stops when he senses me watching him.
