“Not how I am now,” I said.
“I sense danger every day. And I have never felt it when I’m with you.” He touched his lips to the fingers that would turn into claws, that could tear flesh from bones, and he wasn’t afraid. He didn’t shy away from me, even when I tried to curl my hands away from his mouth. I fought every instinct to hide, and opened my hand for him. He kissed each finger, dragging his lips up my hand, my wrist, my arm, my shoulder, my neck.
His breath was hot and sweet against my body, and it made my skin tingle. When he kissed me again, I placed my hands on his sides, pulling him toward me as I lay down.
He braced himself around my body and kissed me until my lips went numb, then touched me everywhere—my arms, my hips, my thighs. Even with my eyes closed, I could picture him so perfectly, his face hovering over mine, taking in every part that I hated about myself but that he seemed to love.
In the stories, they say that true love’s kiss can fix everything, and in that moment, it was starting to feel true.
“Lucas,” I said, between kisses. He pulled back slightly andlooked down at me. I felt like I could fall into those golden-brown eyes and drown. “I…What about Amador?”
Lucas sighed and rolled off me. “Amador and I have an understanding. We both love each other—not like that, but still. I know she doesn’t desire me.”
“You really care for her, don’t you?”
“Different kinds of love can be just as strong as romantic ones.”
“And yet you have romantic love for a monster.”
He tucked a loose piece of my hair behind my ear and kissed me again.
But I broke away from him, resting my forehead against his, and breathed deeply. The moment was so sweet, I wanted to appreciate every second. We stayed like this, our heads pressed together, his hand cupping my cheek. The rain drummed a beat on the window, reminding me that time was ticking away. I only wished for this to last forever.
“We all have darkness inside us,” he said. “Yours is only a part of you, and I love you too much for me to stop because of it.”
Even if these were my last remaining days as myself, they would be good ones with him.
The door suddenly opened, and light flooded into the room. Lucas and I peeled away from each other just as there was a surprised squeak, followed promptly by the door slamming again.
“Nix!” I shouted. “It’s fine!”
Lucas wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist, color rising to his cheeks, and he lifted himself off my bed to adjust his clothing when Nix reappeared in the room, poking her head in first with a hand over her eyes.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she said.
“You don’t need to hide your eyes, Nix. Everyone is decent.”
Nix lowered her hand and stared at the both of us before stepping fully inside. Behind her was Amador.
“Were you two just kissing?” Amador asked, a grin forming.
Lucas’s mussed-up hair was a dead giveaway, but I said, “A little.”
“How are you feeling?” Nix asked me.
I adjusted the iron cuffs on my wrists. “I don’t feel anyworse.”
Lucas asked Nix and Amador, “You two were helping MJ this whole time? And I didn’t know about it?”
Amador, arms still folded over her chest, tipped her chin in my direction. “You kept my secret; I kept hers.” It was surprising to think that Amador had actually become my friend despite our history.
Lucas nodded understandingly. He looked at me the way I’d always wanted to be looked at. All this time, I thought we couldn’t be together. He had so many reasons to be afraid of me, to run as fast as he could away from me, but he stayed.
“Well, we wanted to come here now because there’s one other thing we can try,” Nix said. “I’m not sure it’ll work, but it’s worth a shot, right?”
“What?” I asked.
“Amador and I were doing some more reading about aswangs, and a lot of them talk about the classic warding rituals to either weaken them or kill them. But I’ve read a lot about antidotes and magical panaceas, like bezoars and toadstones. But there was onethat was rumored to be effective against flesh-eating aswang. It’s called a coconut pearl.”
