Before my claws could touch him, Qian fell out of my grasp.
Lucas. He’d tackled Qian just before he let the arrow loose. It missed me by a hair, whizzing into the sky, and I reached out forQian, but my claws scratched at nothing as Qian and Lucas fell to the ground.
Enraged, I flung my wings out to circle back, but something heavy and cold lashed around my neck. An iron chain. It yanked hard against my throat, snapping my head back, and pulled me down.
I let out a scream, high and guttural, struggling against the chain, but I was weak against it. I hit the dirt, crawling on my hands to get away, but the guards had captured me. I beat my wings, but someone moved in and threw themself on top of me, grinding my wings into the ground.
I gnashed my fangs, searching for flesh to bite, but more and more guards piled on top of me.
Qian shoved Lucas off him and scrambled to his feet. He grabbed his bow again and took aim at me. I hated him. I wanted to kill him. I screamed at him, but Lucas appeared again and stepped in front of me.
“Don’t!” Lucas cried. “You’re only making it worse!”
Nix walked in, holding my legs in her arms. “Don’t hurt her!” she screamed, pale-faced and terrified.
I hated everyone. I hated myself. I wanted to end everything. I wanted to burn everything down. I wanted to incinerate myself. I wanted to tear everything up. I wanted to claw my face off.
Nix laid my legs on the ground, then shoved a guard off me and kneeled by my head. I tried to scratch at her with my claws, but she slammed her hand down on my forehead, and my body seized up. I couldn’t move. She had paralyzed me. Her magic enveloped me, and the rhythmic pulse of rage inside me faded.
My claws shrank; so did my teeth. My torso attached to my lower half. My strength left me, and all that was left was a hollowness in my chest and, of course, the pain.
Everyone close by watched as I turned back into myself, covered in dirt and blood.
A sob escaped me. I could barely breathe. I was ashamed and afraid.
All the carnage around me. I heard screams of horror and confusion and saw people stumbling around, gripping bloody body parts, and running away. Terrified.
This was all my fault.
Of all the eyes on me, the ones that hurt the most were Lucas’s.
He stared, shocked, and all the color had gone from his face when he saw what I had become. “MJ?” he gasped in disbelief.
I was a monster, and yet he had protected me.
Nix’s paralyzing spell had its hold on me, and everything faded into darkness.
The last thought I had was that I hoped I would die.
24
When IAWOKE,my eyelids were still so heavy, I couldn’t open them. I heard the sound of a fire crackling, and at first, I was confused about what had happened. Then everything came rushing back. I still tasted the blood in my mouth, remembered how it felt when my teeth pierced skin, how my claws ripped flesh. My heart jolted, and I tried to open my eyes, but every inch of me felt like it had a ten-ton weight on it.
The air was full of incense and almost chewable. It burned my lungs. I moved my hand and felt a cold shackle on my wrist. My manacles. I was chained to my bed. The iron cuffs were so tight, my fingers were numb.
A hand slipped into mine, gentle but callused, and I forced myself to open my eyes.
His face came into focus slowly, but I would recognize the shape of him anywhere.
“Lucas…” I cried. My lips were cracked, and my tongue was dry.
“I’m here,” he said. He was sitting at my bedside; his hand waswarm against my cold skin. He brushed his thumb over my knuckles, grounding me with his touch, and tears blurred my vision.
I turned away so he couldn’t see my face. I knew I had changed back to normal, but I was afraid he’d see me for what I really was—the thing deep down. I held a sob tight in my chest, but it hurt. My fangs remained. Maybe I could never go back to normal again.
Lucas reached out and turned my face to his, and he kept his hand against my cheek. His thumb brushed a fallen tear away, and he looked at me so deeply, it was like he was seeing me for what I really was.
“All those people…” I said.
