“MJ,” he gasped against my mouth.
“Yes?” I asked, dazed.
“I…” He was at a loss for words. He never finished that sentence. All he could do was kiss me, and I understood. This was what he wanted. This was all he wished for. This was what I did, too.
With my arms between us, I traced my fingertips against his shirt, feeling the buttons that cinched it closed, and he seemed to have the same idea. His hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, and then he pulled it over his head in one fluid motion. His tan skin, bare and soft in the glowing pink light, was firm, and all I wanted to do was touch him, finding the warmth of his heart, beating under my hands.
He held the back of my head, fingers raking through my wet hair, and pulled me in. I pressed my palms against his chest and kissed him with a hunger I didn’t know I had. It wasn’t the normal kind of hunger; it was a deep lust that made my whole body ache. I completely forgot how angry I was with him, even though the echoes of his lie still thrummed in some distant thoughts. Heat rose inside me, flaring at first like a struck match until it felt like a bonfire was burning all my thoughts and insecurities away. All I could think about was Lucas.
He guided us to a slab of rocks near the spring, and we sank down together, lips locked. I knotted my fingers in his soft curls and my head swam as he traced his hands down my sides and dughis fingers into my skin like he was making sure I wasn’t a dream. It felt like one. We were floating on waves of passion, our desire pouring out of us like a waterfall. I felt unstoppable, like I could do anything when he was with me, but at the same time, I knew if I wasn’t careful, I could drown.
Lucas’s breath quickened the longer we kissed, and I could feel his heartbeat hammering beneath my fingers. Up close, I admired how his long eyelashes rested on the soft skin under his closed eyes, the gentle points of his ears that poked through his hair, the straightness of his brow and how it furrowed slightly each time he kissed me, like touching me wasn’t enough for him.
His eyes opened slightly, too, and he noticed me watching. His mouth curled up into a knowing smile.
But then I remembered I couldn’t have him. This heart belonged to another. He was engaged to Amador.
Thump, thump, thumpwent his heart. I could feel it. I couldhearit. The bonfire inside me blazed like a wildfire.
Outside this cave, I couldn’t have him. And if I couldn’t have him…
Tear his heart out of his chest!
The voice in my head sounded feral. Hungry. Ravenous.
My nails sank deeper into his flesh. The pink light from the rocks started to run red as my vision tunneled, my fingernails lengthened, and my teeth sharpened.
It’s happening,I thought, in a panic.
Horrified, I shoved against Lucas’s chest so hard, he stumbled back and fell to the cave floor in a heap, bewildered and wide-eyed.
Before he could see, I got to my feet and spun around, hiding my face in my hands.
“MJ? I’m—I’m sorry, this was too much…” He didn’t sound hurt. My nails hadn’t done any damage. I heard him get back to his feet, but I couldn’t risk him seeing me. My hands trembled as the fire inside me sputtered out. My teeth dulled, and my fingernails returned to their usual shape. I had almost turned into the manananggal. I had almost hurt him. I was so close, I could have killed him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“What—what time is it?” I asked, my voice so small. Had I lost track of the sun? Was it already nighttime?
It took Lucas a moment to answer, no doubt wondering why that was relevant. “I don’t know. It might be getting late.”
My heart thumped painfully in my chest. I’d totally forgotten the time. I should have been more careful. I’d let the magic of the cave get to me, my desire not entirely my own. I was dangerous. I was a monster. With the setting sun, he would see. He would know. “You have to go.”
There was a twinge of hurt in his voice. “MJ, I—”
“Please,” I said.
I heard him move behind me, and the shuffling of his shirt when he picked it up and pulled it on again. The human part of me wanted to tell him what was happening, that I truly wanted to be with him, and then he could at least know why I was acting this way. But I was terrified. I didn’t want him to see how ugly I really was. How horrible I was deep down. Guilt gnawed on my insides,its teeth as sharp as the ones I’d almost used on him. It was better this way; he had to believe that.
I heard Lucas moving toward the mouth of the cave. I risked a glance over my shoulder and caught his gaze. He’d hesitated for a moment, and my heart sank when I saw that his dark eyes burned with longing, and it almost broke me in half.
And then he was gone.
13
By thetimeI woke up the following morning, I was still safely chained to the tree. I hadn’t hurt anyone, Nix assured me. She’d stayed all night, listening to my screams.
I was starting to think my affliction wasn’t centered just on my falling asleep or the setting sun. I had almost hurt Lucas in the cave, and neither of those things had been happening. That meant that with each passing day, the monster was getting stronger.
