“Yes, I’m not me. I’m something else. And I can’t stop it. They feel like nightmares, but they’re real. Every night, I turn into a monster.”
The word hung in the air between us for a heartbeat, but Nix didn’t laugh like I expected her to. She must have felt my pulse pounding beneath my skin. “What kind of monster?” she asked.
“A manananggal.”
Nix’s eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up. Her fingers twitched like she was about to let me go, but she didn’t. “How?”
“I don’t know.” I told her about the first night it happened, how I thought it was just a nightmare, and then the second night when I attacked a couple. That I’d killed and eaten a goat instead. I told her everything, and as I spoke, her eyes only got wider. By the time I was done, I wanted to curl into a ball and hide my face. “I can’t control it.”
Nix stared at me for a long time and let out a shaky breath. “I healed that couple,” she said, dazed. “I…I’d never seen anything like what happened to them.”
“I feel awful. No one else can know.” My throat tightened, and it felt like I was drowning. Tears started to burn my eyes, and all my fears came rushing back like a tidal wave. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Nix dropped my hands and clasped my shoulders. “I won’t! Of course not! I won’t tell anyone, MJ, I swear!”
My head dropped, and Nix wrapped her arms around me. She held me close, squeezing me tight, and I hugged her back. Relief quelled the sludge inside me for a brief moment. It felt good finally telling someone what was happening.
After a second, she pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. “How can I help you?” she asked. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s been happening every night?”
“So far. I don’t know how or why, but it’s only getting worse. This morning, I woke up with more blood on my hands again. At night, I separate from my lower half and grow wings and claws, and last night, I ate a horse. I overheard the laundry maids talking about it this morning. But I don’t remember any of it.”
“I heard about that, too…So you were going to attack people? Like that couple the other night?”
“I wanted to. I mean, the manananggal wanted to…I tried to stop myself, I think. But I’m not sure how much longer I can hold it off.”
“You didn’t tell Elias?”
“No, I didn’t know how. The couple that saw me when I first changed didn’t recognize me. Neither did the stable hand last night. It’s like I’m possessed. I’m repulsed by garlic and, I guess, salt.” I looked around at the room made entirely of it and shuddered. Was this the new normal for me?
Nix, however, was in problem-solving mode. Her gaze drifted across the room, no doubt thinking about everything I’d just told her. “But what is the source of it? Do you think it’s another hex from a mambabarang?”
“I read a book in the library that said it could be a curse. Whatever it is, I just want it to stop.”
Nix’s eyelids fluttered as she took a moment to process. “That’s good, at least. We can rule stuff out.”
“Have you ever heard of anything like this?” I asked, hopeful.
She shook her head and met my eyes. “No.”
“Figured,” I said, and wiped stray tears that had fallen onto my cheeks.
“Hey,” said Nix, wiping away even more with her thumb. “That doesn’t mean we’re giving up.”
Something that felt a lot like hope sparked in my chest. “You’re not afraid of me?”
Nix screwed up her face. “Are you nuts? Why would I be afraid of you? You’re my best friend!”
That made me want to sob right on the spot. Somehow, I’d thought she’d never want to speak to me again. A fearful little voice in my head had convinced me that I wasn’t worthy of her love anymore because of what I was becoming, and yet here she stood. It was everything I could have asked for.
She shook me gently. “We can figure out a way. I’m sure there’s something we can do. There’s a pattern, so you’ll probably change again tonight, right?”
My stomach dropped at the idea. “Probably. I have these iron cuffs that might keep me from escaping, but I didn’t get them on in time last night.”
“That’s why you need my help,” Nix said. “I’ll stay with you tonight.”
