Heart, liver, and stomach were the tastiest.
I jerked awakewith a strangled cry. I was back in my room.
I threw the covers off myself and put my hands to my face, expecting to feel the slick, warm blood from my dream, but my skin was clean. My white nightgown was spotless. I was drenched in sweat, but there was no sign of any blood. I’d…I’d killed those people. Of course, it had only been a nightmare, but the way my hands broke bones—it had felt so real. A shudder rushed down my spine. The stress from dealing with Qian was taking its toll on me.
The curtains were still drawn, but I could tell it was already morning. A fierce storm rattled the windows. Thunder rolledoverhead, and wind howled against the glass. It sounded just like my monstrous cry…My hands shook as I rubbed my eyes, trying to ease my mind.
What was wrong with me? It was like some wild thing had punctured its claws into my skin and refused to let go. But it was just a nightmare. It was silly to be bothered by something like this.
And yet the remnants of the nightmare clung to me like oil even as Jinky swept into the room with breakfast and dressed me for the day.
I wasn’t hungry, even for tapsilog—plates heaping full of beef, garlic rice, and fried egg—with sweet puddings and cakes for dessert. Nausea threatened to make me puke, and I nudged the garlic rice away. I didn’t want any of it.
“Are you feeling all right?” Jinky asked me. It was unusual that I’d turn down breakfast.
“I’m just anxious, that’s all,” I said. “Talking with Qian is proving more difficult than I thought.” I massaged my stomach and sipped some water.
Jinky was a mountain spirit with pale moss-green skin, but her cheeks turned a shade of blue when she blushed, which she did now. “He’s certainly dreamy, if I may say so.”
“You’re reading those romance novels again, aren’t you?” I said with a teasing smile. It helped ease my stomachache. I’d managed to get my hands on some swoon-worthy reads from the human world for her after she’d shown an interest in books Nix and I had been reading one day.
“No!” Jinky squeaked. Then she realized she was lying to the queen, because her blush deepened, which made me smile more.“I mean…Maybe. He does have a certain quality that is quite appealing.”
I took another sip of water. “Good looks aren’t everything.”
“I suppose not,” Jinky said, a little deflated. “Though his devotion to his sister is charming. He cares deeply for the ones he loves, doesn’t he?”
“I’ll give him that much.” To his credit, it was a good quality. I wouldn’t think highly of someone who didn’t care about their family.
“Will you speak with him more again today?” Jinky asked. She started brushing my hair to put it into elaborate braids.
“I have to, for Nix’s sake. Though I’m not sure what else I can do. We’re both stubborn.”
Jinky sighed thoughtfully. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“What would your romance heroines do in my position?”
Jinky looked taken aback. “Truly?”
“I’m looking for any help I can get at this point.”
After thinking for a moment and pursing her lips, Jinky said, “I suppose they would spend alone time together someplace romantic, someplace remote, where they could open their hearts to each other…” Her voice got breathy as her gaze grew distant, dreamily staring into nothing, the brush hovering above my head. She snapped herself out of her daydream and continued doing my hair. “Though simply having a change of scenery would do the trick. A getaway.”
“A getaway…” I remembered Elias mentioning Mount Makiling, the place where my ancestors used to make treaties with neighboring kingdoms, earlier. An idea started to form. “I couldbring Qian to the jungle retreat in Mount Makiling, show him how guests are treated, prove to him that Nix is safe here, and convince him that she doesn’t need to be married off. It worked for my great-grandmother, so why shouldn’t it for me?”
“That sounds like a grand plan,” Jinky said. “Though in the novels, they fall in love at the end. You may be getting more than you asked for.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not going to happen. I am done with love.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Jinky said with a small smile.
After Jinky wassatisfied with me—outfitting me in a floor-length plum-colored baro’t saya with narrow sleeves cinched with silver bangles, complete with delicate orange flowers in my hair—I went to the guest wing to pass along the details of my plan. But when I knocked, Heng answered the door, frowning at me as if I were interrupting his day.
“I would like to speak with Qian,” I said. Then I corrected myself. “I demand to speak with Qian.” I had to stop asking for permission to do things. I was a queen and needed to start acting like it, confident and commanding. I straightened my shoulders to strengthen my words. Heng looked me over, eyes narrowed.
“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Heng’s voice was low but flat, and he stepped aside, letting me through.
The guest rooms were some of our more practical spaces. They were often used for visiting delegates from neighboring regions, intended as a place where guests would mostly sleep and not spend a lot of waking time. There was the standard four-poster bed; alarge bamboo mat with pillows on top, used for resting; and open doors leading to a balcony overlooking the garden. The sky was a flat gray, churning with the storm, and rain pattered against the glass, throwing the candlelight of the room into a cozy haze of safety. The remnants of Qian’s breakfast had yet to be cleared away from the center table, but his clothes had been laid out for him, neatly pressed and hanging on the privacy screen.
