Marq tilted his head, offering Adam a look of sympathy. “Janae doesn’t give anyone the chance to hurt her. She strikes first and hard. Don’t let that be an excuse to let her push you away.”
“Of all the things I expected you to say to me, this wasn’t it. Why try to help me patch things up with Janae? You obviously still care about her. Why not use this opportunity to try to find your way back to her?”
“Because even though Janae has forgiven me for the things I did and the way I treated her, I can’t forgive myself. Considering the horrible things I did, I don’t deserve her. I couldn’t see that then, but I’m fully aware of it now. The best I can do is wish her well and hope for her to find the kind of love, the kind of man she’s always deserved.”
Adam appreciated Marq’s candor, a newfound respect growing for the man sitting across his desk from him. Marq’s self-awareness was a testament to his growth and evolution. Adam knew he was benefiting from that growth right now.
“Thank you for your advice and your candor, Marq.”
“Are you going to use it, though?”
“I don’t know that Janae will ever forgive me. But I can tell you that I’m going to do everything in my power to show her how much she means to me. I just hope it’s enough to mend the rift between us.”
Chapter 32
“So, are we ever gonna talk about what’s bothering you?”
Janae looked up from her crouched position on the floor to find James standing over her. She sat on her haunches, tossing the soggy sponge in the nearby bucket of sudsy water.
“Boy, I know you see me busy scrubbing these floors. Unless you wanna do them for me, I suggest you leave me be.”
Considering the aversion that boy had to chores, she expected him to throw up his hands and scurry away. To his credit and her annoyance, he squatted until he was nearly on the floor with her.
“Ma, I know something’s wrong. I’m old enough for you to tell me when something’s up.”
She wiped her brow, giving him her direct attention while still trying to figure out how to calm James’ concerns.
“I’m fine, James. I just really want to finish scrubbing the kitchen floor.”
James chuckled, sitting down cross-legged in front of her. “Sure,” he responded. “Because my mother, the woman who owns so many Swiffer products, just loves scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees.” He dropped his eyes, the motion made him look very muchlike the little boy who used to ask for a second slice of chocolate cake when he knew he’d already had more than he should. “Is it Dad? Are the two of you fighting again?”
Janae slipped her legs from beneath her, her butt hitting the damp spot she’d just cleaned.
Unconcerned, she placed her hand to cup his cheek. “James, your father and I are not fighting.”
“Would you tell me if you were?”
She thought about it and sighed, slightly saddened that her little boy could no longer be swayed with a kiss to his forehead and the reassurance of her smile. Now he was old enough to seek to comfort her.
“I would tell you if we were fighting. I wouldn’t tell you what we were fighting about. That’s none of your business.”
Even though he laughed, she could still see the worry in his eyes and it didn’t sit right with her.
“Listen, James, I know you want your dad and I to get back together, but that’s not a possibility.”
“Did Dr. Henderson tell you that?”
She nodded slowly, gauging his reaction to her reply. “He didn’t tell me to break any sort of confidence with you. He told me because he and I were seeing each other romantically and he wanted me to know how you felt.”
James’ mouth dropped open in surprise. “How did I not pick up on that?”
She couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “I think you were too busy being impressed with his hoop game to pay attention to anything else.”
He cautiously watched her before asking, “Are you mad I talked to Dr. Henderson?”
“No, you’re not in trouble, James, for talking to Adam. You have a right to the way you feel and there’s no harm in that. Myonly question is, why didn’t you feel you could talk to me about it?”
“Ma, I didn’t come to you, because I didn’t want to jinx it. I felt like maybe y’all were trying to figure things out on your own before you came to me about it.”
