“Thanks, Ms. Cree.” James launched himself at Cree, barely giving her enough time to brace herself against the excited affection he was throwing at her. He gave her a tight but brief hug, then waved at Janae and Vanessa and said he’d be back in a few to finish up.
“Even unfinished, that gown looks amazing on you, Janae.” Vanessa’s voice had a whimsical tone to it, and given that Vanessa was a numbers person, always needing concrete quantitative data before she could believe or endorse something, it was the highest compliment of James’ work.
“He’s really proud of it, and so am I.” Janae looked at herself in the mirror again, smoothing her hands gently down the curve of each hip, delighting in the wide A-line skirt that had so much movement, Janae couldn’t help but to sway this way and that.
“Oh, you’re more than proud of it,” Cree said. “You’ve got that devilish look in your eye like you’re about to hit your target dead center.”
Even if she tried, which she wasn’t, Janae couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Cree was right. She was thinking of a certain tall manwith locs and how seeing her in this outfit was going to test the cool façade he always walked around with.
“You’re really into Adam, aren’t you?” Vanessa’s question took Janae by surprise, causing her to nearly lose balance on the block she was standing on. Always there to catch her when she fell, in the literal sense too, each friend grabbed a hand and helped her step carefully down onto the carpeted floor of her bedroom.
“Adam’s ah-ight.”
Her friends shared a knowing glance before leveling their dual gazes, filled with suspicion, onto her.
“He’s more than all right, and you know it,” Vanessa continued. “Admit it, you’re into him.”
The denial was forming on her tongue, but when she caught a glimpse of her king-size bed and how Adam had owned her in it, the lie disintegrated before she could respond.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like him, even though I don’t want to.”
“Why don’t you want to?” Vanessa’s question was valid. Adam was attractive, interesting, employed, responsible, great in bed, and most important of all, he and her kid got along. What woman wouldn’t want those traits wrapped up into the man she was seeing?
But are you really seeing him, though?
She was seeing him naked, that was for certain. She was also loving every minute of having Adam’s golden brown skin on display ready for her touch. But seeing him implied an emotional intimacy she wasn’t quite sure she was ready to permit. And did she really just break down the various meanings of the word “seeing” in her head and applied them to her connection to Adam? Yeah, she was definitely in trouble.
“There’s a lot riding on this fundraising. I just don’t want to create any tension that ends up sabotaging the creative arts program’s ability to get funding.”
Cree walked over to the foot bench at the bottom of Janae’s bedand made herself comfortable. “That’s a likely story, Janae, but I don’t think you really believe that.”
“Thanks for the psychoanalysis that I didn’t ask for, Dr. Philomena.” Janae knew her voice had that petulant child quality to it she absolutely hated in other people. But it was the only defense she had since everyone in that room knew she was lying through her teeth.
“I don’t get it,” Vanessa said as she moved closer to the bench and sat next to Cree. “What’s so wrong with Adam? Granted, I don’t know him as well as you two do, but he seems to be a pretty good guy.”
“Heisa good guy,” Cree answered.
Janae began fiddling with an imaginary thread on the dress at Cree’s words. She was trying to figure out a way in her head to minimize how much she was enjoying Adam, and she couldn’t. Then she realized quickly, she didn’t want to either.
“Cree’s right,” Janae admitted. “Adam is a good man.”
“Then why the hesitation?” Vanessa’s question landed squarely in Janae’s chest, forcing her to face her doubts.
“I didn’t pick well with Marq and it’s making me doubt myself now.”
Her words came out quick as if she were afraid she wouldn’t be able to get them all out if she took a breath.
“I like Adam a lot. I’ve decided no matter how my insecurities are picking at me, I’m not gonna let them stop me from seeing whatever this thing is with him.”
Her girls kept their eyes on her with matching comforting smiles on their faces.
“We all have fears,” Cree whispered quietly.
“But if there’s anyone who can fight her way through them, it’s you, Janae.”
Vanessa glanced at Janae with a look that was mixed with a lot of compassion and a little bit of side-eye. “I stayed married to an emotionally abusive asshole for twenty years. I think I get thedoubting yourself part better than most. But just like you reminded me that Michael wasn’t my ex, I’m gonna remind you that Adam isn’t yours.”
Vanessa’s words soothed the rawness she’d been burying inside since her last argument with her mother. The woman had called Janae’s demand for respect a chip on her shoulder. Making Janae question if fighting was as good for her as she’d always believed. As she listened to her friends, she knew her fighting spirit was her best asset. Her demand to be treated with care and kindness wasn’t unreasonable. It was her best way of protecting herself. Adam and her girls understood that, and they didn’t fault her for it.
