That was it, the thin straw that caved in the tired, overburdened camel’s back.
Over the years she’d learned to spot it in an instant. But this wasn’t displeasure or disappointment. This was something more somber. If Janae didn’t know that her mother wasn’t the type to regret the decisions she made, she’d wonder if Evelyn was showing some kind of concern for her daughter. Then Janae remembered the cruel words that had just slipped so easily from her mother’s lips and realized she didn’t deserve Janae’s compassion.
“Mother”—the words fell from Janae’s lips like sharp daggers hitting a metal floor. “Let’s get a few things straight. First of all, I don’t want Marq. If I had wanted him, I would’ve never let him go.”
Janae held up two fingers partly to help channel some of the frustration vibrating through her body but mostly to give her mother a visual representation of the message she had been trying to convey for what seemed like ages. “As I have told you before, my value is not wrapped up in a dress size. Skinny is not a goal of mine. If I wanted to be skinny, like every other goal I wished to accomplish, I would’ve done it by now. I like me and all my fluffy and fabulous parts. And if a man has a problem with that, that is his issue. Not mine. If he doesn’t like me for who I am, he can go kick rocks in the street with open-toed shoes on.”
Janae took a slow and steady breath, closing her eyes before she spoke again. She knew this last truth she was about to aim at her mother was going to probably lead to World War III. “Finally, let’s stop pretending you’re trying to help me every time you talk aboutmy size. You’re not trying to help me; you never have been. Your issue with me, your only issue with me, is that I am the spitting image of my daddy. A man who despite your perfection, despite the fact that you are everything society tells us that a woman is supposed to look like and sound like to be complete, left you for a woman who was cute and curvy like me. And I have paid the price for that every day since he walked away.”
Her mother’s eyes widened and she placed an elegant brown hand across the base of her throat. This was her practiced “I’m shocked and hurt” look. Clichéd and tired as it was, Evelyn never failed to grab at it when she was losing an argument with Janae. It didn’t work on Janae then, and it wouldn’t work on her now. No matter that Janae had proven time and time again that her mother’s guilt trips did not work on her, Evelyn still insisted on playing the victim whenever she could and making Janae the villain.
“Well, your looks aren’t the only thing you got from your father. That sharp tongue of yours certainly comes from him.”
“Nope,” Janae said while shaking her head furiously. “You will not turn this on me. Not today. I have had a good day, with good company, and I’m not gonna let you ruin it. So if all you came over here to do is insult me, then I think you need to leave.”
“You would put your mother out over a man? I know I raised you better than this.”
She had indeed raised Janae to be better than this. The funny thing was that Evelyn Tate always, always taught Janae to stand up for herself. “Never let anyone put you down, Janae.”
Janae had taken that sentiment and run with it. She always defended herself and those who couldn’t defend themselves. She hated bullies. And more than bullies, she hated people who played mind games in order to manipulate and bend folks to their own will. It was ironic that Evelyn was sitting here now, clutching her pearls, literally, while attempting to play those very mind games Janae hated.
Obviously, reaping what you sow is a real thing.
“Mama, I really don’t want to fight with you. But I need you to understand that my marriage to Marq is over. We were all wrong together. And there is no chance of us ever being together again. Not because Marq doesn’t want it. I don’t care whether he wants it or not. Because I no longer want to be married to him. Please stop meddling in my personal affairs. I don’t need a man. And if I do need one, I’m more than capable of selecting him.”
“Is this because of that Adam Henderson who was in here earlier when I arrived? Is he making you forget about the vows you took in front of God and man? Don’t let a pretty face sway you from your destiny, Janae. Don’t let a pretty face ruin your family. You and Marques have a son together. You should be raising that son together, not both of you living separate lives with separate people.”
“That’s not for you to decide. Marq and I made the best decision for ourselves and our son. We are divorced. We are happily co-parenting. And that’s all either of us want or are asking of the situation. So again, for the last time, stay out of my business.”
Evelyn must’ve realized she couldn’t get any further with Janae, because she took a deep breath and then stood in the center of the living room looking down her pointed nose at her. “I sure hope you know what you’re doing, young lady. Because when you get to be my age, when you’ve got a lot more years lived than you have in front of you, you start to realize that life isn’t as wonderful without someone to share it with.”
“Mama, I have a lot of regrets in life. But ending my marriage was not one of them. I made the right decision for me and for my son. And that’s good enough for me. You just have to find some way to deal with that. Because this is not something that I’m entertaining any longer.”
Evelyn opened her mouth to say something, and Janae stood holding her finger in the air, stopping whatever her mother was about to say. “And before you can ask, this has nothing to do with Adam. Adam and I are spending time together, yes. But I’m doingso because I choose to. Not because he has influenced me to. You should know your daughter by now, Mama. There ain’t a devil in hell that can make me do what I don’t want to do. Including you.”
Her mother walked toward the door, putting a hand on the knob but stopping before twisting it. She turned back around to face Janae, giving her the same stern look she always used when she was attempting to get Janae to see the error of her ways.
“The problem with always carrying that chip on your shoulder, Janae, is that you have to be prepared to carry it around for the rest of your life. Carrying something that heavy and dense, after a while it becomes a burden. I know you like to fight. But what you’ve really got to ask yourself is do you want to fight for the rest of your life?”
Evelyn walked out the door, her words smacking Janae in the middle of her chest so hard she had to stiffen her legs and shoulders to keep herself upright. When the door closed, Janae collapsed into her armchair and prayed for once her mother was just spewing her usual vitriol and not actual wisdom.
“Dr. Henderson, I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”
Adam didn’t need the woman on the other end of the phone to announce herself. For one, Dr. Elise Brent’s voice was distinct. Elegant and official, just like her appearance, always letting you know she was in control of the situation around her.
A sarcastic grin curled his lips at her greeting. She was calling him on a weekend. They both knew she didn’t care in the least about disturbing him. He was her superintendent and pretty much at her beck and call until he passed his probation. Her pretense at caring about whether or not she interrupted him was all for show.
“Not at all, Dr. Brent. How may I help you?”
“I was just checking up on the fundraising efforts for the arts program. I’m told you’ve made quite a bit of headway with just the car wash alone.”
He laughed inwardly again at her “I’m told.” Since Adam had filed a progress report with her office, she knew exactly how much money the district had made down to the cent.
“Yes, we’ve made twenty-five percent toward our goal. We anticipate the next event will do even better.”
“I assume by thatweyou meanMs. Sanders.”
Adam’s eye twitched with the emphasis she’d put on both words. As far as Adam knew, Janae didn’t have any specific beef with this woman. Whether she did or not, the way she’d introduced Janae into the conversation rubbed him the wrong way. He’d usually ignore someone getting his or anyone else’s title wrong in a quasi-casual conversation like this over the phone. The way she’d said “we” and “Ms.” brought out his protective instincts.
