Her smile seemed to start from somewhere deep inside of her until it was glowing, lighting up the room. It warmed him. It made his heart beat faster. It made him want more. More of her smiles… just more of her.
She dove back into her food, taking an enthusiastic bite. Her grin couldn’t be camouflaged, though. With every chew, her face was still beaming with joy.
“Please forgive my gluttony.” Her words were slightly warbled as she finished chewing. “Your mom’s stew chicken recipe has always been one of my favorites.”
“By the look of bliss on your face, I take it you haven’t had it in a while.”
“I haven’t,” she replied. “I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t found much opportunity to sit at your mother’s table since we tutored Michael.”
She pushed her plate away from her, then took a sip of her wine. Her simple movements were filled with such elegance and intention, Adam could watch her eat and drink all day.
“Why’s that? My mom always loved having you over.”
The slight tilt of her head suggested she was contemplating either his question or the answer she planned to give.
“Adam, you and I were pretty much strangers at that time. Why would I think your mom or you would’ve wanted me at her table? Besides, you and I haven’t really kept in contact over the last twenty-five years.”
A fact he regretted more than she knew.
“My mother adored you, Janae. If only you knew the way shealways spoke about you while I was in New York. I was under the impression you two saw each other on a regular basis.”
She looked up at the ceiling, avoiding him and his mother’s reported praise. “This is Monroe Hills; it’s too tiny for us not to have run into each other all this time. I see her at the hairdresser and the nail salon. I see her at church and any of the local events the town sponsors. I haven’t been at her table since the graduation party she hosted for you, Michael, and Derrick.”
“Why?”
He didn’t know why this mattered so much to him. They had been the furthest thing from friends when they were kids. That fact hadn’t stopped his mother from adoring Janae, nonetheless. Janae was a wonderful woman, so he understood his mother’s appreciation of her. But what he couldn’t understand was how Janae didn’t know that.
“Adam, having mutual friends wasn’t enough to bring our worlds together when we were coming up. Why would I think you wanted me around your mother?”
He put down his beer, searching her face for any hint of amusement, but he found none. She was serious.
“Janae, you thought I hated you?”
She shook her head, putting her glass down on the table. “It was pretty obvious considering you never paid any attention to me.”
“Because you were this bright focused girl who didn’t care what anyone else thought and didn’t hesitate to put people in their place. As a basketball superstar in high school, I was surrounded by nothing but fools. I didn’t really think you would want my attention. I respected you enough that I didn’t even try.”
She sat quietly, taking his words in as if she had to turn each one over slowly in her mind before she could understand its meaning.
“You respected me?”
“If you still don’t know that, I’ve obviously done a shit job ofshowing it. But yeah, I’ve always respected you. But it’s deeper than that, Janae. My real issue when we were young is I always wanted you, and I just couldn’t find the nerve to let you know.”
Something bright flashed in her eyes that he couldn’t really make sense of. It wasn’t anger or hurt. It was something deeper, and everything in him told him he needed to decipher it quickly.
“Adam, you had your literal pick of admirers in our class. You were captain of the basketball team. Everyone wanted you or wanted to be you.”
“Everyone?”
“Everyone,” she replied. Her voice was full and rich like an aged brandy. “Everyone including me.”
Of all the things he was expecting to hear, that wasn’t it. He knew she was attracted to him now. The way she’d come undone when they’d kissed was proof of that. But back then, he would’ve bet his very soul he wasn’t so much as a blip on her radar.
“It seems like neither one of us was as smart as we thought we were back then. Doesn’t it, Janae?”
She brought her eyes to his, fixed in place, boldly leaving herself open to him as she did. There was no fear or hesitation in her demeanor. Only need and fire.
“It certainly does. Another prime example of youth being wasted on the young.”
