When she drew her eyes back to his, she was met by a full smileas if the act of listening to her gush about her son somehow gave him joy. The notion that he understood and respected her devotion to James acted as a carefully placed wedge in the doorway to her heart. A door she was trying hard to keep firmly in place.
No matter her efforts, it seemed as if Adam was going to make this difficult for her. Liking this man because he was fine and an amazing listener was one thing. Liking him because he supported the way she loved her son, that was something totally different. And she was afraid the something different was going to be her undoing.
“After you left my office, I got to thinking that it seemed like I was missing something.”
His words brought her attention back to their conversation, forcing her to give herself a mental shake to get her head together.
“I’ve seen parents try to get their kids everything they wanted. But those parents usually believe their kids are entitled to anything they want. That’s not the vibe I get coming off you, Janae. Aside from wanting to keep your kid happy, why’s this program so important to you?”
She contemplated what her next words should be. Should she just give him some platitude about her kid being her everything or should she tell him the truth?
“Because this program is the only way my son can get into the New York School of Performing and Fashion Arts without me having to spend forty thousand dollars per academic year… that I don’t have.”
She saw the questions floating in his eyes. She was a managing nurse anesthetist. She brought in more than two hundred thousand dollars a year before taxes. If anyone should be able to send her kid to school without crying broke, it should be her.
Too bad expectation didn’t take into account having an ex who tried to extort her for her freedom.
“Marq did everything he could to contest the divorce, dragging out the procedure for over three years.”
Her words were rushed. She knew if she hesitated on even one of them, she might not be able to get these words out.
“He ignored emails, missed court dates, and filed silly claims the court was forced to investigate just to slow the process down.”
“That sounds frustrating.”
She looked up to the ceiling, shaking her head slightly.
“Incredibly so. But more than frustrating, it was costly.”
She repositioned herself on the stool, needing to keep her body from tensing up at the memories.
“Marq may have made the military a career, but his family had old money, so he definitely had a financial leg up over me.”
Adam slid his hand over hers. His simple touch dissipating some of the intensity her memories brought.
“Marq was a traditionalist. He insisted his money take care of our family, and my salary went toward all the things that sort of improved our quality of life. Vacations, interior decoration, cars, life insurance, and college funds.”
“Wait.” He frowned and held up a finger. “Life insurance and college funds were considered extras?”
“I repeat, Marq came from money. He didn’t have to worry about things like life insurance and college funds. The money was always there for him to use it. I didn’t have that experience, so I wanted to put money away for that reason.”
She took a deep breath, pulling her eyes away from him and focusing on some distant spot on the fridge.
“When I began divorce proceedings, I knew I couldn’t walk into the courtroom with just a competent attorney. I needed someone who could fight Marq and his family’s power and influence, someone who could make me the custodial parent. That took money.
“The first year, I went through all my personal cash savings. The next year, I cashed out all of my assets to cover my legal expenses. That last year, the only financial resource I had outside ofmy paycheck was the money I’d put away for James’ secondary education.”
Saying those words out loud felt like her chest had been placed in a vice and some external force just kept twisting and twisting, crushing her to the point that breathing became an impossibility.
“If James doesn’t finish this feeder program, there will be no guaranteed scholarship for him. I’ve been divorced for two years. I’ve just paid off the back taxes I owed from cashing in some of my funds prematurely. Now I’m working on rebuilding James’ college fund. But I’m not there yet. Sure, he can take out loans. It’s just, I don’t want him to start his adult life in debt like I did.”
Adam stroked his beard, contemplating his words before he spoke.
“So this program isn’t just about having somewhere for your kid to go after school. It’s about helping him realize his dream?”
He’d phrased it as a question, but she could see the sincerity in his eyes that shouted his understanding.
“Yes.”
