Ariel lifted her hand and waved it through the air. “Miraculous.”
Stella laughed. “You win.”
Ariel poked the last bite into her mouth. “These biscuits win.”
Stella glanced out the passenger-side window. A young man tossed an orange Frisbee to an overly eager border collie. A jogger ran by on the trail that wound through the park. Just thinking about going for a run exaggerated Stella’s fatigue. She reached for a napkin and wiped a blob of cheese from the corner of her mouth.
Ariel cleared her throat and turned down the radio’s volume. “Maybe I’m wrong, but you seem a bit off today. I’m also interested in why you were a six yesterday. Does it have something to do with why you’re giving off a muddy vibe today?”
Stella paused, confused by the statement and wondering if somehow Ariel knew about the purple words. Then she remembered their texts last night. “Oh... it’s nothing worth talking about.”
Ariel pointed at Stella’s face. “You have the worst poker face.Actually, you havenopoker face. As you said the words, your facial expression drooped and you got sad eyes.”
Stella tried to look offended, but she wasn’t. Ariel knew all of her expressions and diversion tactics. Stella finished her biscuit, then took a slow inhale. “Muddy vibe? Sounds gross, which is probably accurate. I didn’t sleep well.”
“Any particular reason?”
Stella nodded. Multiple reasons, but she wasn’t ready to talk about the words yet. “I burned a journal yesterday.”
Ariel’s eyebrows rose dramatically. “Like some kind of ritual? I know people burn candles and papers with messages on them to release bad energy or to cut energy cords, but you? You burned abook? You don’t even dog-ear the pages.” Ariel glanced out the window. “Have we slipped into an alternate universe? What was in the journal? Symbolic writings?”
Stella held up a hand, her buttery fingertips reflecting the sunlight. “Whoa, that got real woo-woo real fast. A ritual, seriously? What kind of ritual wouldIbe doing? No, it was everything I’d been writing for and about Wade during the past six months. I’m over it. I’m tired of feeling connected to him, so I burned the journal in the library’s furnace.”
Ariel twisted off the cap on her water bottle and took a long drink before responding. “That’s kinda like a ritual. You were hoping to sever your connection by burning everything you wrote about him.”
Stella shrugged and wiped her fingers on a napkin. “All those words... burned.”Lost forever.And yet she still felt every one of the words vibrating inside her. Burning the journal hadn’t erased what happened from her heart. She thought of the golden words that slipped out of the furnace.Surrender. Anew. Forgiveness.Maybe she should start a new journal, write those three words at the top of a clean page. But that didn’tfeellike what she was supposed to glean from them. Understanding what the words meant and how they were connected to her life had never been as confusing as the past two days.
“How do you feel now?”
“Confused,” Stella admitted.
“Should I assume by you being a six last night that it didn’t go as planned?” Ariel asked.
Stella opened her own water bottle and took a drink. “Why can’t I get over him?”
Ariel cut her gaze over to Stella and pursed her lips. Then she toyed with the turquoise pendant hanging from her necklace. “Because you don’t want to.”
Stella choked when she tried to swallow. Drops of water dribbled from her mouth. “What?” she squawked. “Why would you say that?” She wiped her mouth with a thin napkin, tearing it in her roughness.
Ariel inhaled a slow breath and then pinned her Caribbean-blue eyes on Stella. “Now, don’t get mad, but if you wanted to let it go, you would. There might be a bit of bitterness lingering inside you. I can help you get it out—”
Stella bristled. “I’m not bitter!” Then she immediately flushed with embarrassment and sagged against the seat. She thought about the older woman visiting the library yesterday—she’d been bitter for twenty years. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t yell at you. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
Ariel’s understanding smile sent a wash of guilt over Stella. “For what it’s worth, I think burning the journal was brave. It shows you’retryingto let go, and that’s something. You’ve beenthrough a lot in the past four years. Leaving Memphis, losing your dad, moving home, and then spending a year with Wade, hoping he’d come through, only to realize he was...”
“Stringing me along the whole time? Using me and lying to me? Making me believe love was real?”
Ariel gazed out at the park as sunlight glinted off the hood of the van. “I wouldn’t describe it exactly that way, but yeah. It’s no wonder you’ve been angry and clutching reasons to stay that way.”
Wasshe holding on to Wade... on purpose? The idea made her insides squirm. Being with Wade had made Stella feel alive and seen. While he hadn’t been as interested in books, he’d willingly listened to her prattle on about them. He’d also praised Stella’s creativity and encouraged her to write, not just in her journals, but poetry and short stories. He’d even written poetry for her. It was lousy, for sure, but it had charmed her.
The memories shot heat into her cheeks, followed by a burst of anger. Why had he bothered showering her with so much love and attention if he never planned to follow through with his promises? Stella had tucked those stupid poems into the journal, which was now a pile of ash.
Desperately needing to divert her thoughts from her ex, she glanced over at Ariel and noticed flower-shaped words spiraling around her best friend’s throat like a daisy-chain necklace.Intrigued. Romantic pursuits. Ask me out.“Are you dating someone?”
Ariel shot a look at Stella, and her eyes narrowed. “Are you using your word magic on me?”
Stella laughed. “Are you admitting I’m right?”
