“Arris, I—”
“If we were ever friends, which I think we were, then I ask only one thing of you, Demelza,” said Arris, refusing to look at her. “Let me not see your face when I have no choice but to speak another’s name. If you go through those doors and come to the ball tonight, then I will have my answer.”
33For Lack of Wings
Arris stood on the balcony, far away from the ballroom’s thundering revelry and sideways glances. He felt as though he had not drawn breath since he had left Demelza in that tent.
She was going to leave Rathe Castle and all of this behind. He was almost certain of it. She was of veritas swan descent, after all. Even the fluttering of her pulse when he’d kissed her was a reminder that she was not to be tied down. Arris was no fool—well, he wasn’t entirely a fool—and he knew that Demelza felt something for him…
When she’d kissed him, there was a sense that she was testing the edges of a question: How much could she take of him without giving of herself? He recognized it in her gaze immediately, for hadn’t he done the same with every beauty who had ever tried to kiss then kill him?
When she kissed him, he wondered whether she had been watching to see whether her heart key would finally emerge. When she drew back, there was only mild surprise in her face. A flicker of disappointment shot through him.Already, Demelza had laid claim to his dreams and begun to creep into his heart. Was it so terrible that he wanted hers in return? Throughout the tournament, Arris had hoped to live first and love second. But if Demelza came to the ball… if she agreed to be his bride… then what kind of life would he have knowing he’d never fully have her heart?
“This is foolish,” he said, forcing himself to laugh.
Demelza wasn’t coming. He should start to make peace with that now. He should think about who to name in her place.
Arris peered through the balcony window and watched the swirl of color and light in the ballroom. The balcony’s entrance was hidden behind the dragon tapestry in the hallway which led to the grand ballroom. The tapestry was lovely, though not particularly memorable. It was large enough to cover one of the grand tables in the dining room and depicted a huge silver dragon slumbering atop a pile of bones. Chests of treasure were piled high in its dark cave and if one looked closely, one would see embroidered plumes of smoke puffing and unraveling from the dragon’s nostrils. Normally, guests would see it and laugh or mutter a quick “How charming!” before being lulled by the lights and music of the ballroom.
Earlier, while the rest of his family had readied themselves to walk inside for their grand entrance, Yvlle had tapped his arm.
“You know what’s waiting in there,” she said.
Oh, Arris knew. He had grown accustomed to hearing people talking of how long he might live. Tonight, theymight as well be making bets on the prospects of his mortality. If he announced Demelza as his choice and then she failed to show, then he would have to suffer heartbreak alongside humiliation.
“I need one moment,” he said.
“Take more than one,” said Yvlle. “I’ll hold them off.”
Arris smiled at his sister and then he elbowed the tapestry. The silver dragon cracked open its milky eyes, its scaled brow furrowing in question.
“Hide me until she arrives,” said Arris.
If she arrives, he’d thought, but he would not say it aloud.
The dragon had yawned and tottered off its pile of embroidered bones. It nudged the bones with its snout and the tapestry pulled back from the wall to reveal a balcony where Arris had been waiting ever since…
Through the window, the ballroom revealed a picture of splendor. Dozens of ornate candelabra hung from a ceiling painted with constellations. Thunderstorms and spring clouds drifted through the room and drizzled on the occasional guest. The floor of the ballroom was a crystal parquet floor, each tile holding a blooming flower or a darting scarlet fish. It was a riot of color. Of life.
He hadn’t been waiting on the balcony for very long, but it felt like centuries. Arris watched the merrymaking and wondered if this was how it felt to be a phantom. Here he was haunting his own life.
Arris scanned the ballroom. In the crowd of dancers, golden-haired Ursula grinned and stomped. Her mother, the Lady Azeria, stood off to the side, smiling as she watchedher daughter and husband dancing together. Ursula’s father, the handsome Lord Oberon, whooped with delight when she threw him up into the air and caught him again. Some distance away, Talvi stood and spoke with her mothers. Yvlle was not far, and though his twin made every effort at appearing indifferent, she kept glancing at the Aatosian ice girl. In the center of the ballroom, Lady Edmea held court, twirling around to show off her floating dress made of braided sylke feathers. In a corner, Zoraya sobbed in the arms of a handsome young man.
How much longer until Arris had to name one of the other contestants as his bride? The very thought was terrifying. It was as if all the doors of the world had slammed shut and light would never reach him.
But then he heard the shuffle of feet. Or was it, perhaps, the rustle of silk? A shadow fell over him and Arris nearly dropped to his knees—
“You came,” he said. He was breathless all over again. “I… I didn’t think you’d show up—”
A very portly gnome stepped into the light carrying a watering can.
“Your Highness!” he said, bowing. “I did not know you would recognize the services of a garden gnome, but I am much obliged by your acknowledgment! I did not realize my services were so needed! I have been much concerned about the hydration of the wall roses on this particular balcony, so—”
“Could we have a moment?” said a familiar voice. “Please?”
Both the gnome and Arris looked up to see Demelza holding up the tapestry, an uncertain look in her eyes.
“Oh! Oh yes of course!” said the gnome. “I’ll leave the watering can here, Your Almost Royalness. The prince looked very distraught when I appeared and I am honored that our work as landscapers is finally receiving the attention it deserves. The weeds out near the lawn are nasty, you know. They gossip like anything and are always stealing our shoes. Terrible things. I wage a war every day, I tell you… well, well, off I go!”
