“He showed us documents you’d written.…” said Nalini, her voice breaking.
The false documents. I closed my eyes. I had written those to protect what I was doing. I intended for them to fall into the “wrong hands,” but my brother had done just that.
“You refused to speak to us, to tell us of your plans,” said Arjun. “You shunned us, Gauri. And Skanda showed us the truth. He showed us how you wanted Nalini out of the way and proved what you’ve been doing with all your time.”
I remembered Nalini falling to her knees, the knife pressed to her throat. Skanda’s words—so carefully chosen—I know what you want.I thought… I thought he meant that I wanted her safe. But he’d performed to both sides.
How many times had Arjun begged to speak to me in private after I had rescued him? All this time, I had assumed he wanted to speak about what he had seen, the traumas that had held him captive. I didn’t pay attention. It was too risky, too much of an open declaration that we were in league with one another. I told myself that I would be there for him as a friend later, that right now I could spare neither time nor security. The callousness that had saved me so often had destroyed me too.
“I begged Skanda to send you to an ashram where no one else could get hurt. I begged him to spare your life, even after everything you’d done to hurt us. Why did you come back?”
Before I left Alaka, I told Vikram I didn’t know myself. Now I was staring at the depths of what that meant.Heroine. Savior. Villain.What were those words but different fistfuls of a tale that all depended on who was doing the telling?You see, a story is not just a thing told to a child before sleep. A story is control.I saw it now. Felt the talons of that truth scrape through me. I saw how I had laid down the bones of Skanda’s story: a tale of a turned heart and insatiable greed.
“Skanda lied to you,” I said, my voice breaking.
I sank to the floor, my head in my hands: one glass, one flesh. One translucent. One opaque. One that could wield a knife and one that could not. Past and present. Alaka had cut my life in half. When I looked forward, the hand that had been my horror became my hope: transparency. Nalini breathed sharply. Arjun tried to hold her back, but she crouched beside me, cradling the glass hand.
“What happened to you?”
I laughed. “I cannot even begin to tell you everything.”
“Try,” urged Nalini. “Arjun was sent to fetch you, but I couldn’t… I had to see you…” She stopped, blinking back tears. “You know your brother will send another attendant soon.”
I tried. I told them about what I had felt the day I emerged into the throne room to see the soldiers cut down and Arjun standing at Skanda’s side. I told them about being thrown over the Ujijain border, my mouth gagged and my wrists bound; the months of silent torture while the empire decided what to do with me. I told them how Vikram changed everything, about the invitation to the Tournament of Wishes in the city of Alaka down to the moment where I earned escape. I didn’t tell them about the wish though. Knowing Arjun, he would want a demonstration, and I couldn’t risk giving away the last weapon I had. When Nalini held Kauveri’s gift, her eyes narrowed from uncertainty to awe. Even Arjun stopped frowning to hold the dagger. The dagger shimmered in his hands, transforming into a trident of water. From where I sat, I could feel the rush of an invisible river, the magic of a powerful wave brimming through the room and roiling with energy.
“Why would I come back just to be killed?” I said when Arjun turned away from me. “This whole time I thought thatyouhad turned on me. I don’t know how else to prove—”
An attendant knocked at the door.
“General Arjun?”
My pulse raced. The attendant was knocking onmydoor. So why was he addressing Arjun? Arjun spoke through the door.
“I wasn’t able to comply with the Raja Skanda’s directive,” he said. “Her travels have worn her and it seems that one of the servants gave her a sleeping draught to calm her nerves. Tell the Raja that I will escort her to the throne room.”
“Very good, General.”
Footsteps echoed and disappeared down the hall.
“… He sent you here to kill me?” Arjun’s mouth tightened to a cut, which was all the answer I needed.
“I wouldn’t let him,” said Nalini. “Not without seeing you. Or hearing why you did what… what we thought you did.”
My heart leapt. “You believe me?”
Nalini held my gaze. “I don’t know what to believe.”
I reached for her hand, but Arjun stopped me.
“We need to go,” he said tightly. “We can confront Skanda ourselves.” He yanked me to my feet. “You have one chance to make me believe you. Otherwise, I’ll follow through with the order.”
And then he turned to Nalini, cupping her face between his palms and kissing her gently on the forehead. How blind had I been before now? All this time, I thought Arjun hadn’t loved Nalini enough to protect her from Skanda. The truth was that he loved her so much that he had betrayed me. Nalini watched us as we walked to the door, her eyes never leaving my face.
“Thank you,” I said when we started walking down the hall.
“For what?”
“For not killing me, for starters. And for keeping me safe when you didn’t have to.”
