I haven’t gotten this far—I haven’t kept Bailey safe for this long—by taking a back seat to anyone. And I don’t trust anyone to negotiate on my behalf. Not Nicholas, not anyone.
And then there’s the other reason—the one that involves Nicholas himself. Our last five years together slam into focus: those early trips he took to Sausalito to spend time with Bailey; her concussion and that small hospital room in Utah; college move-in day (and move-out day); all the celebrations and holiday dinners and late-night calls in between. The moments that are impossible to tally.
Isn’t that how it happens? You add it all up (you can’t begin to add it up) and you don’t just love someone. Youknowhim.
And I know it in my gut, staring back at him now. As much as Nicholas is saying that he doesn’t want me there with him, a piece ofhim does—a piece of him that he can’t seem to hide, as much as he is trying.
Which may help explain the urgent pull I feel to protect him.
“Hannah,” Nicholas says. “If the plan goes sideways, you should be together, all three of you, so you can run…”
“That’s the thing, Nicholas,” I say. “I want to be with you so that the plan doesn’t go sideways…”
Which is when there is a knock on the door, fast and sharp. Nicholas turns toward the door, Bailey looking at me, suddenly on edge. More on edge. And before I can even ask who is knocking, I hear a key turn in the lock, the door opening, and he’s walking into the living area—the man in the army jacket and the hat. The thick beard. Strangely enough, a tray of coffees in his hands.
I stand up fast, instinctually moving in front of Bailey. Blocking her. Ready to protect her.
But then the man in the army jacket takes off his hat. And I see who it is. Who I didn’t quite recognize beneath the hat and that beard.
Seth. Nicholas’s longtime bodyguard. I’ve met him several times over the last five years—Bailey and I both have. He’s been working with Nicholas for more than two decades now. He has stayed with Nicholas through everything, even through when Nicholas was in prison. Even, apparently, this.
Bailey steps out from behind me.
“What is going on?” she says.
Nicholas puts his hand on her arm, calming her.
“I asked Seth to keep an eye on you when you landed in LBG,” he says. “A little extra security to make sure you got here safely.”
“I tried to keep a safe distance,” Seth says.
“You scared the shit out of us!” Bailey says. “Why didn’t you just come over to us?”
“I couldn’t imagine a world where coming up to you wouldn’t scare you more…”
Seth was right about that. Nicholas was supposed to be dead. How would it not have terrified us to suddenly have his former bodyguard tapping us on the shoulder on the streets of Paris? Before we understood the rest of it.
Seth hands us each a coffee—a most welcome cup of coffee. I wrap my hands around the cup and sit back down. Find my center again. Bailey following suit. Bailey starting to breathe again.
I should feel better with Seth there, and in some ways I do. But I know Nicholas is just going to utilize his presence as further proof that he does have this handled. That Seth will be with him in Èze. But it won’t stop what’s gnawing at me—my belief that if I know anything, I know that’s not true.
I turn back to Nicholas. I lower my voice, calm and resolute.
“Nicholas, you and Owen aren’t the only ones who spent the last five years working out an escape hatch,” I say. “I need to be there.”
Nicholas looks over at Bailey, who is holding on to me. “She can be stubborn, your mother.”
“Believe me. I’m aware.”
And maybe he expects her to argue—to insist that I shouldn’t go. But if I’ve done anything well with Bailey, I’ve done this. She trusts me to know what needs to be done. For me, and for her. And she trusts me to do it.
“You can’t leave me out of this, Nicholas,” I say.
Nicholas nods like he understands that. Then he looks up at Seth. He looks up at Seth and then back and forth between Bailey and me.
“Unfortunately,” he says. “We can’t leave anyone out of this.”
Sixteen Years Ago
