“That’s sweet. She’d love it.”
Livy’s forehead scrunched up with worry. “I don’t have the stuff I need to make a friendship bracelet.”
“We’ll get some,” I assured her, mentally working out how much money I had left in my bank account. “Just…maybe in a week or two, okay?”
She nodded. “I want to make a bracelet for you too, Auntie Em.”
Her words, and the pure love behind them, set off a warm glow inside my chest.
“Thank you, sweet pea.” I kissed her head. “I’d wear it every day.”
“Can I make one for Daddy too?”
I smiled through the sudden ache that cleaved my heart. “Of course you can.”
Her forehead scrunched again. “He can’t wear it in heaven, can he?”
“Maybe not,” I said, choosing my words carefully, “but I bet he’ll know that you made it for him. And he’ll love it so much.”
She considered that before looking into my eyes. “Do you want to make one for him too?”
I smiled, even though it hurt to do so. “I’d like that very much.”
“But if he was your brother, does that mean he wasn’t your friend?”
I fought to keep my smile from trembling. “He was both.” My eyes stung from the tears I refused to let fall. “My brother and my friend.”
Maybe that hadn’t been true when we were younger, when I made a pastime out of pestering him and he was always striving to gross me out, but by the time I finished high school, that had changed for the better.
Livy yawned, her eyelids growing heavy.
I kissed her head again and switched off the bedside lamp.
“Sweet dreams, Livysaurus,” I said when I reached the door.
“Night night, Auntie Emersyn,” she said sleepily.
As I eased out of her bedroom, I heard her whisper, “Night night, Daddy.”
I pressed a hand to my chest to help me hold back a sob.
Jemma jumped up from the couch when she saw the tears that had finally broken free to tumble silently down my cheeks.
“Oh, Em.” She gave me a quick hug. “Are you okay?”
I wiped away my tears and nodded. “I’m fine. I’ve got lots to tell you.”
She eyed me with concern but didn’t press the issue. I appreciated that. The day had left me emotionally wrung out, and I didn’t want to cry and exhaust myself further. Instead, I gave Jemma a lighthearted play-by-play of everything that had transpired during the stakeout. She squealed when I got to the part about the kiss. I tried to downplay it, but my bestie saw right through me.
Eventually, Jemma left and, once alone, I sat on my bed staring at my phone for a long time. My stomach tied itself up in tighter and tighter knots with every passing minute. I couldn’t sleep, not with so much on my mind. Maybe I’d regret my next move, but I needed to try to take the reins in my life.
Not letting myself chicken out, I called my mom, bracing myself for an argument or at least for her not to listen to a word I had to say.
“Emersyn, hon?” she said when she picked up. “It’s late for a call. Is everything all right?”
The genuine concern in her voice cracked me open. Tears spilled down my cheeks.
“Everything’s okay,” I assured her through quiet sobs.
