Maggie
I’m out the front door just in time to see Carter stumble across the sidewalk two houses down and hold up his key to unlock Toro. I charge toward him like it’s the final sprint of a 5K.
“No!” I shout across two lawns, the same tone of voice you would use to reprimand a dog.
“Huh?” Carter looks up, genuine terror in his eyes.
“That’s not happening.” I slow down as I reach him and rip the key out of his hand.
“Hey, I need that!” Carter says.
“Too bad.”
“You’re stealing my car?!”
“No, idiot. I’m preventing you from driving it.”
“Oh.” Carter takes me in, a small grin growing on his face, and this is already way more interaction than we should be having. “Because you want me to stay at the party?”
“What? No!” I need to keep this straightforward. Efficient. To the point. I pull out my phone. “You’re drunk, okay? You can’t drive right now. So I’m getting you a Lyft home.”
“What thinks you make I’m drunk?” Carter asks, wobbling back and forth like a large piece of seaweed.
“I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”
“Okay. Whatever you say. I’m glad you care, Maggie.” I can tell he’s just saying my name to see how I’ll react.
“It’s not that I care,” I say. “I just don’t like death.”
He’s unnervingly silent, staring at me as I stare at the app scanning for nearby drivers. It’s still quite cold out, and neither of us is wearing a coat.
“I saw you kissing that handsome adult,” Carter says, flicking his eyebrows up and down really fast. I can’t keep myself from laughing, goddammit, which makes him grin even bigger than before.
“Please stop talking,” I say.
“What? It’s what I saw!”
“Roberta will be here in four minutes to drive you home,” I say, keeping my eyes on my phone in order to get myself through this.
“Roberta.”
“Yes.”
“That’s kind of like the name Robert,” Carter says. “I never realized that. Did you? Like a female Robert.”
“I guess.”
“I could do that with my name. Cartera. That’s beautiful, isn’t it? Look at Cartera on the balance beam! She’s magnificent.”
I laugh again. Jesus. “And why is she on a balance beam exactly?”
“She loves gymnastics, I guess. I don’t know.” Carter holds on to the side of the car, exhaling a huge puff of white breath and buzzing his lips together like a horse. “I might do a puke. Make a puke. Puke a puke.”
“Oh god,” I say. “Three minutes till Roberta. Wait, no. Four again. No, okay, it’s back to three.”
“So what’s our deal?”
I freeze. This is my cue to run. I must leave here. I’ve done mypart. He can wait for Roberta without me. “What do you mean?”
