“Meh.”
I stare at the ceiling, hands on my stomach, listening to Lincoln breathe. This room is so much better with him in it.
“Stuff like this hurts so much,” I say. “And nothing I tell you will really change that.”
“I also feel stupid, you know?” Lincoln says. “That I didn’t see it coming. I had my plan all ready for how we’d be in touch. The best times of day for us to talk with the time zone difference. It’s just embarrassing.”
“Welcome to my world, bro. Forget about what’s coming, Idon’t even know what’sgoing.”
Lincoln laughs, and I feel so proud. Like, for the first time I can remember, I’m actually there for him the way an older brother is supposed to be.
“That was kinda funny before,” Lincoln says, propping himself up on an elbow. “When you said I was the most amazing person you know.”
“Well,” I say. “I meant it.”
“Oh.” Lincoln blinks twice. “That’s nice.”
“No, it’s justtrue. I’ve been thinking so much lately about... You know, I’ve had all these relationships over the years, right? Like, Vivian. Layla. Maggie. God knows who else. But, through all of them, there’s only one person who’s always been there.”
Lincoln sniffles. “Are you trying to get me to cry again?”
“Always. But for real, I just feel lucky you’ve stuck with me all these years. Because man, what a pain in the ass for you.”
“It’s not so bad.”
I give Lincoln a deadpan stare. “Come on. You said I treat you like a search engine.”
“Well, yeah, I was pissed, but it really isn’t so bad! I’m lucky too.”
“Nowyou’rejust being nice,” I say, “but I’ll take it.”
I take a deep breath. One last Band-Aid to rip off.
“What happened to me,” I say. “What’s still happening to me... It’s not your fault, Lincoln. Not even a little.”
“Don’t—”
“You were trying to be there for me that night. The way you always are. And I...”
I feel the tears coming, but I push them back.
“I’m sorry about what I did to you, Link. What I said that night. You were right to get pissed. I did this to myself. It’s my fault.”
“WHAT? No, it isn’t!”
Lincoln and I both flinch at the voice that just shouted at us through the door.
“Mom?” I say.
“How long have you been listening?” Lincoln asks.
“Sorry,” Mom says. “Just a few minutes. Dad is here too. We were worried about you guys, so we...”
“Yeah,” Dad says. “So we came and put our ears to the door.”
“That’s... really odd,” Lincoln says, “and pretty inappropriate. But I’m intrigued, so you may enter.”
The door swings open, revealing a sheepish Mom and an equally sheepish Dad behind her. They slowly walk forward, then lower themselves onto the foot of the bed we’re still lying in.
