Rubey tossed him a sidewise look. “Giordan and I have an understanding, and don’t try to pretend it’s of any concern to you. If it ever was—of which I have immeasurable doubt—that was ten years ago, when we first met.”
Voss felt the edges of his eyes crinkle in a smile. He didn’t need to make any other reply. She was right and they both knew it.
“As you’re risking your life being here, I rather suppose we ought to get on with whatever you needed to speak to me about,” Rubey said.
“Did Corvindale say anything about Angelica?” he asked, surprising himself, for that was not what he’d intended to say. His only concern was whether the chit had somehow died. “You never did tell me.”
“No, he merely commanded me to tell him where you were.”
‘‘Perhaps Cale said something further during your… er…pillow talk?”
Rubey gave him a slow smile. “Now, Voss, you know that there’s very little time—or energy—for mere talk when I am thus engaged.” Then the smile went away and that shrewdness came back in her eyes. “You are concerned for her, aren’t you? Isn’t that odd for you, Voss? Or is it merely because you know if she’sdead, Dimitri and Chas will be even more intent on sending you to join your friend Brickbank in hell? I wonder what it’s like down there, being with Lucifer all the time. Don’t you, Voss? At least-—”
“Enough,”Voss said, uncertain why her taunting annoyed him so. He showed a bit of fang to let her know he was damned serious.
She sobered and gestured to a chair. “Very well, then. Here I am, the wisest woman you know, at your disposal for whatever it is that’s on your conscience.” Then she laughed. “Oh, dear. Did I truly say that? When have you—anyof you—ever had a conscience?”
Voss felt his eyes warm with a deeper glow and he didn’t bother to retract his incisors. And then, suddenly, his annoyance faded. It was replaced by something he didn’t recognize, some odd, empty emotion.
“Voss, I am expecting Giordan again shortly. Perhaps you’d like to conduct this conversation now, before he arrives?”
“You’re going to die,” he said. Her eyes widened, and he continued, “Someday. You and everyone you know…except us.”
Rubey nodded, eyeing him as if he were a mouse. Voss happened to know that, while she had less than a fondness for rodents, she wasn’t particularly frightened of them. Which was probably just about how she felt about him.
“Everyone dies,” she said in an eerie echo of Angelica. “Except the Draculia. And even then…well, that fierce Chas Woodmore has seen to the demise of more than a few of your brethren.”
Voss didn’t say anything for a moment. He’d battled his way in here because he needed to talk to someone, and it wasn’t possible to talk to Angelica without abducting her again…but he didn’t quite understand what he wanted from Rubey.
But he knew he wanted—needed—something. Direction. Wisdom. Hope?
What was happening to him?
Somehow, she seemed to sense what was on his mind. “You Dracule, you prize your immortality and live for centuries, but I’ve never understood why. I think I should find it lonely and monotonous after a time.”
She leaned forward in her chair, affording him a generous view down her bodice, corsetandshift. But even that delightful sight didn’t distract him because she was speaking thoughts he’d always tried to ignore. “Giordan offered to make me Dracule. He suggested if he did, I could be Rubey’s proprietress forever. I told him I didn’t want to do anything forever.”
“Not even live?”
But what happens when you die?
She shook her head. “It’s unnatural, living forever.Nothinglives forever. Nothing, Voss. Only the demon who made you this way. He made you unnatural. Look at how you must live—by feeding on other living beings. I have often wondered why he would do such a thing, but I’ve come to believe it’s because it ties you more tightly to him. You take from your own race. You must. What sort of creature is he that makes you take life from your brethren to live? It’s interesting, and frightening. Like copulating, the very act can be intimate and pleasurable…or it can be a violation. Which way do you think the demon wants it to be? Which way does he make it easier for you?”
He needed a drink. Voss stood and went to the cabinet, helping himself to a finger of brandy. Yet…he didn’t tell her to cease speaking.
“I’ve only known you for a decade, Voss, but I can see the emptiness in your life. Nothing changes, does it? The only relationships you have are with other Dracule, and none of you truly trust the others.
“Instead of envying you, I pity you. All of you. Each of you has nothing but sameness, emptiness, every day. You’ve nothing to strive for, nothing to look toward. Your lives—even Giordan’s—are filled with debauchery and pleasure and nothing else.”
“And Prinny’s life, and Byron, and Brummell—none of them are denying themselves pleasure. But they’ll grow too old or too poor or they’ll die and their days will be over. Ours—mine—goes for eternity. It will never change. I’ll never be too old to fuck?—”
“Ah, yes, the monotony of it all. But it’s the very nature of your existence—the need, the drive for pleasure. Do youneverget tired of indulgences? Pleasure? And not even the hair on your head turning gray or falling out?” Rubey shrugged. “You remain the same, for eternity—unless you land on a stake. Or a sword separates your head from your shoulders. And then what happens? What has your devil promised you then?”
Voss’s mouth went dry. His body turned empty and cold because she had said what he couldn’t put out of his mind. The thought had tortured him since yesterday. All he could do was nod.
It didn’t matter. The deed was done, the covenant made. This was his life.
Forever, as long as he didn’t get himself staked or beheaded. Or burned in the sun.
