“Things may not be that simple, Briony.”
“Because you think the professor has betrayed me?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore, but you’ve taught me to be wary, to be more suspicious than I used to be.”
“Damn it,” I say, managing a half-smile as more of his magic heals that gaping great wound, “why did I do that?”
“You’re pretty inspirational.”
“Me?” I say.
“Totally, and I’m totally and utterly in love with you.”
Thorne may be the quiet one, but Beaufort hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with sweet words and declarations of love before. I guess I really gave him a scare. Truth be told, I gave myself one too.
“There,” he says finally, beckoning the shadows back to his hands and pulling the covers up over me. “You’re all fixed.”
“I’m sorry, Beaufort,” I say, “so sorry.”
“You don’t have to say that, sweetheart.”
“I do.” I peer down, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know what came over me. It was like I was possessed.”
“A panic attack. Have you ever had one before?”
“Yes, but it was different last time.”
He strokes my cheek tenderly and a sob bubbles up in his throat, bursting free of his mouth. He shakes his head. “Ahhh, I’m sorry, I’m just … fuck.” He tries to force them back, wiping his fingers across his eyes but the tears leak through.
“Beaufort,” I say, “I’m fine, aren’t I?”
He nods, swiping at yet more tears.
Gritting my teeth, I roll up and drag him towards me, he folds into me, his forehead resting on my shoulder and for several moments, his body shakes silently as I hold him.
I want to promise him that I’ll never leave him, that nothing bad is ever going to happen to me, but I can’t. They would be false promises, hollow words.
Instead, I run my palm up and down his back and then into his hair, stroking my fingers through the glossy locks and then cupping the side of his face, tipping his head back so that he’s looking up at me through watery eyes, so reminiscent of the storm outside. I wipe away the tears with my fingers from his face.
“You understand, then,” I say. “I can’t stand to lose Fox – to lose any of you – just like you can’t stand to lose me.” He nods his head. “And I can’t promise you, I’ll be here forever. No one can.” Not even an immortal like Fox. “But I am here now, Beaufort.”
Then I press my lips to his and kiss him.
“Briony,” he murmurs into my mouth, his arms coming to circle my waist. “You’re not well and–”
“Beaufort,” I growl back, deepening our kiss, my magic beginning to tingle in my veins, all the pain gone now his arms are round me and my heart is beating for him.
I roll back down onto the mattress, pulling him down with me. He braces his arms around me, so as not to crush me with his weight.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he protests.
“Really?” I say, cocking an eyebrow and smirking at him. “I thought you were into that.”
“Briony!” he says. “I’m serious.”
“You won’t hurt me. I want this, Beaufort. I need it. I need you.”
I nearly lost my life up there in the sky tonight and I want to feel alive. I want to feel loved. I want to feel him.
