I hear a cough near the window and creep out to look. I don’t see anyone, so I ease to the door and pull it open just enough. That’s when my stomach drops.
Yanking the door the rest of the way open, I rush outside and drop to my knees beside Nibs.
He gasps, blood running from the corners of his mouth. There’s a gaping wound in his stomach, and some of his insides spill out onto the mossy ground.
I look around for Skylights, for anyone who can help. But they’re gone. And would they help a Lost Boy? No. They’d free him. The same way I freed Slightly.
“Hey.” I scoot so I can cradle his head in my lap. “Hey, Nibs. Everything’s going to be all right.” I lie to him.
“Mommy?” he asks.
“Yes.” I nod. “It’s me.” I stroke his bloodied cheek. “You’re safe now.”
“I missed you so much.” Tears flood his eyes. “I missed you, Mommy.”
“I missed you, too.” I can barely breathe, can barely hold it together. Because when I look at him, I see a scared child. One Peter stole away and locked up on Neverland when he should’ve moved on to something better, somewhere he could find his mother and be happy again.
“I’m frightened of the dark.”
“Everything that’s there in the light is there in the dark.” I tell him what my mother always told me. “Don’t worry.”
He smiles a little, and I wonder if his mother told him the same. “That’s right.”
“Shh. Just rest now. It’s time for sleep. Close your eyes.” I keep stroking his cheek, and I wonder if he can hear the pain in my voice. “Everything’s all right.”
“Okay.” His chest spasms, but he closes his eyes.
“Just rest.” I smooth his hair back from his brow. “You’re a good boy, Nibs.”
His mouth moves, but he doesn’t make a sound. When his chest spasms again, he goes still.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” I lean over and kiss his forehead, my tears mixing with his. “Goodbye.”
I struggle to my feet, my heart in tatters, and lean against the house.
Peter’s shadow jumps down right in front of me, as if it had been on the roof watching the whole thing.
“No!” I scream as it reaches for me. I’d rather die than let it take me.
It swallows me with its black mesh, choking me as it drags me away toward the farmlands. I reach for the blade Hook gave me. It comes free from the belt at my waist, but when I swing it at the shadow, it goes right through it.
“Let go!” I kick, but it only grips me more tightly, a boa constrictor around my throat.
I still have the knife. It won’t work on the shadow, but it will work on me. I pull it closer to me and clench my eyes shut. This isn’t giving up. This is refusing to give Peter what he wants. This is my final stand.
But do I have the courage to do it?
“Be brave.” Hook’s voice is in my head, in my heart.
I can be brave for him, for the people I love who are right now fighting for their lives. If Peter takes me, he’ll use me up and wipe them out. I won’t let that happen.
I send a silent goodbye to my vicious pirate, even if he never really was mine. Then I straighten my arm and aim the knife for my chest.
With all my strength, I swing it inward, right to my heart.
ChapterFourteen
“What are you doing, you idiot?” A shrill voice like a broken bell stings in my ear, and the shadow releases me.
