“I wouldn’t expect you to. But I also want you to be honest with yourself.” She takes me by the shoulders, her cream-colored sarong flowing out behind her. “You were brave enough to save yourself from Peter.”
“I had help.”
“You were brave enough to open your heart to Hook,” she says softly.
I sigh, her words like a knife to my gut. “Why does he have to be so … bad? Villainous? Evil?”
She presses her forehead to mine. “That’s precisely what drew you to him, and what drew him to you. Two sides of the same coin.” She pulls back.
“Tiger Lily?” I know I shouldn’t be asking this.
“Yes?”
“Have you ever been in love?”
She smiles tightly, her lips thinning into a line. “A long, long time ago. I’m afraid it’s not a story I like to tell.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.” She glances behind me. “Shiner’s here with lunch. Rest some more, and we’ll talk later about when you’ll have the strength to make the voyage.”
It’s not the answer I wanted, but I suppose I have to take it. “Okay.”
I walk back to my cot and plop down.
Shiner hands me a plate as she gets settled in by the fire. Cobweb and Wraith are already finishing off their food and poking at the berry dessert.
“Valinx is doing us proud today.” Shiner forks a pile of greens from her plate and stuffs them into her mouth. “So good. Hey—” She peers at my plate. “Is he still giving you extra?”
I shrug. “He likes me. I went by and chatted him up the first day I went walking around. Honestly, I’ve yet to meet a cook who doesn’t take a liking to me.”
“Probably because they pity how weak you loo—Ow! What?” Cobweb yells when Wraith elbows her in the ribs.
“It’s okay. I know I’m not in top form.” I try not to think too much about my appearance, but it’s hard when I see my hands. The backs of them are so strange now, like a grandmother’s hands got transplanted onto me. Splotchy with veins and sinew that poke up from beneath thin skin, they make me glad I haven’t seen a mirror anywhere in this village. I don’t know how many more stories Peter had me tell while I was roofied, but from the looks of it, it was plenty.
“You’ve gotten stronger.” Shiner uses her fork to point at my hands. “Those bandages are almost ready to come off.”
“I don’t mind them,” I say quickly.
They all look at me curiously.
“It’s just—” I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud. “I like not being able to see the backs of my hands all the time. They’re … scary.”
“Pffft.” Shiner scoops up a piece of her dessert. “It’s not that bad. I’ve seen way worse.”
“Me too,” Wraith chimes in.
I know what he’s talking about. I’ve seen Ari, too, the way she seems almost folded in on herself. From the way he spoke of her, she must’ve been a great beauty. But now, she’s like me, a husk of the person she was.
“I once saw that boatswain Widow when she’d been cursed for sleeping with a witch’s man.” Cobweb shudders. “It was the stuff nightmares are made of. When I saw her at Hook’s place, I was shocked she managed to get back to her normal form.”
“The witch fixed her after they handled the asshole who’d played them both.” I cheat ahead to dessert, too, scooping some of the crimson berries onto my fork. They’re not neverberries, thank heavens. They’re sweeter with a hidden tartness you get on the back end. I’d have to say they’re my favorite berry on the island.
Cobweb whistles. “I would’ve loved to see what they did to that bloke. Cheating on a witch is a bad idea, but crossing one of Blackbeard’s crew is probably even dumber. That crew was so fierce. The only one that rivals it is Hook’s. He’s the cruelest bastard on the sea now that Black—Hey!”
Wraith glares at her.
“She can talk about Hook.” I adopt a nonchalant tone, one I hope isn’t obviously fake. “I’m not mad.”
