He grits his teeth, something unknowable passing across his face, then nods. “Aye.”
“See?” I stretch my feet down toward the warmth from the cannonball. It feels amazing. My eyelids start to get heavy. It’s as if Hook is working a spell on me, trying to trick me with kindness. But it’s a lie. It has been all along. He’s anything but kind. Peter was telling the truth about him. I force my eyes to stay open, to fight the spell Hook’s weaving.
He doesn’t falter, his deep blue gaze on mine, burning through me and laying me bare. “I suppose that’s what you needed to know, was it? That was all it took for you to make your choice?”
“I don’t know what you want from me.” My voice is small and thin, stretched across the million miles of distance between Hook and me even though he’s close enough to touch. “But Peter said you want me dead, and from what you’ve said, Peter told the truth about everything else.”
“That feckless cunt wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him on his powdered ass.”
He plucks a lock of my hair and rubs it between his thumb and forefinger. “I’ve done every sort of villainy you can dream up. More. Any black speck your beautiful mind can create, it rests on my heart, marking it like a piece of coal. There is nothing you can accuse me of that would roll off and leave me blameless.” He leans over me, his gaze slipping to my lips. “Which begs the question, if I wanted you dead, lass, wouldn’t you already be so?”
My breath hitches in my throat, and I can’t stop myself from wetting my lips. He follows the movement, his look predatory as he hovers over me. I should be afraid, especially after what happened on the Ranger and especially after everything Hook just admitted, but with him, it’s different. I can’t explain it. Iknowhe’s dangerous, but I never feel like I’m the one in danger. He’s a blind spot for me, one that will lead to ruin if I let it. “I think you’re saving me for later. I don’t know, maybe like a sacrifice to the island or something? Peter was never clear about that.”
He scoffs, his warm breath against my lips. “What if I told youPanis the one who wants Neverland for himself? That he’s been using you to that end. What would you say to that?”
“I’d say you’re a lying pirate.” I close my eyes, and that’s when I glimpse Coy’s face, the light fading from his eyes. That brings everything into sharp focus. “And a murderer.” I pin Hook with a glare.
“That’s true.” He straightens, his dark hair falling against his forehead, giving him an even more devil-may-care look, as if he needs the help. “Can’t deny that.”
We fall into a tense silence, a standoff that grows heavier by the second. I feel like I’m losing touch with reality, the distance between Neverland and the mainland growing wider by the day. With Peter, I could still remember myself, still worry about papers to grade or assignments to turn in. But with Hook, I’m losing all that. Instead of trying to get back to my dorm, I’m planning on taking fighting lessons with Widow. Instead of grading papers, I’m wrestling with my foolish desire to run my fingers through an evil pirate king’s hair. I’m buying in to the delusion. Does this mean the cinderblock wall is one step closer to becoming my reality? I don’t know, and it’s terrifying that I don’t know.
He breaks first, turning and stalking toward the door. “Get some rest. Cookson will bring you a meal later.” He doesn’t slam the door, but he closes it with enough force that I know the conversation is over.
I think through his words, and a small part of me wants to believe in him. After all, he hasn’t strung me up or forced me to walk the plank. If anything, he’s treated me well. He saved me from Calico Jack and then … he killed him. Was it for me? Or was it because that’s who Hook is—a killer?
I don’t know the answer to that. If anything, I’m more confused than ever.
If I could only get back to Peter, I feel like this would all make sense. He would tell me the truth. I have to believe that, because the alternative is Hook. The alternative is me putting my faith in the villain, the man Wendy warned about in her well-worn tale of Lost Boys and fairies, the pirate who killed my friend right in front of my eyes.
I can’t do that.
I never will.
ChapterTen
The Jolly Roger was wrapped in the blanket of night, through which no sound from her could have reached the shore.
“You’re looking better.” Widow circles around me as the Jolly Roger coasts through the waves.
Neverland rises ahead of us, the great golden tree glinting in the moonglow. We’re moving closer to Peter, to my freedom, and hopefully to my return home.
“I slept well.” The cannonball warmed me for hours, and when I woke, I found a breakfast already laid out for me on the table. I didn’t see Hook, though. In fact, I haven’t seen him at all today.
“Me too. I guess I missed my time on a rocking boat surrounded by slovenly assholes.” She glances around at the pirates.
“Slovenly?” Starkey drops down from a rope, some sort of metal crank in his hand. “Absolutely not, Widow. I’m the best dressed on the ocean.”
She looks at him over her shoulder. “With the biggest ego.”
“Not the only thing about me that’s big, but you already know that, don’t you?” He grins at her.
My eyes are probably as big as saucers.
Widow tosses her dark hair over her shoulder. “We all make mistakes.”
“Shall we make it again when the moon is high?” He sweeps up behind her. “We’ll be at the hideaway by then.”
“I’ve raised my standards.” She sidesteps him. “No more pirates for me.”
