I kick off my shirt again and reach for the lube even though I probably don’t need it. I’m producing enough slick to make the toy slide easily, but old habits die hard.
I settle back into my nest, surrounded by pillows, and press the toy against my entrance. Even that gentle pressure makes me gasp. I’m so sensitive, so ready, that it takes barely any effort to work it inside.
The stretch is good. Better than the vibrator. The toy fills me in a way that makes my toes curl, hitting spots that send sparks of pleasure up my spine.
But it’s still not enough.
I work it slowly at first, trying to be quiet, hyperaware that Jalen is somewhere in this house getting ice cream while I’m doing this. The toy’s knot catches at my entrance, and I have to bite my lip to keep from making noise as I push past the resistance.
The stretch is intense. Good. The fullness helps, makes the aching need recede slightly.
But it’s still not warm. Doesn’t pulse with an alpha’s heartbeat. Won’t knot me properly and fill me and make the aching need finally stop.
I’m so focused on chasing relief, on staying quiet, that I don’t hear the footsteps in the hallway until they’re right outside my door.
“Sierra?” Jalen again, soft through the door. “I’m leaving the ice cream outside.”
I freeze, the toy buried inside me, the knot stretched past my entrance, my heart hammering so hard I’m sure he can hear it.
“Th-thank you,” I manage, and my voice is wrecked. Absolutely wrecked. There’s no way he doesn’t know exactly what I’m doing in here.
A pause that feels like an eternity. I can hear him breathing on the other side of the door. Can smell toasted marshmallow stronger now, mixed with something darker, more primal. Rut.
“You’re welcome,” he says finally, voice rougher than before. “Let us know if you need anything else.”
His footsteps retreat, faster this time.
I wait until I can’t hear him anymore before I let out a breath. My face is burning. Partly from heat, partly from humiliation. I just talked to an alpha while literally fucking myself with a toy, and he definitely knew, and I want to sink into my nest and never emerge.
But the toy is still inside me, the knot stretched past my entrance, and my body is still demanding relief.
I start moving again, slower now, trying to be absolutely silent. The wet sounds are unavoidable. I’m producing so much slick that it’s coating my thighs, soaking into the sheets. But I bite down on my pillow to muffle any sounds, working the toy in and out until the pressure starts to build.
The knot catches on every thrust, stretching me, filling me, hitting spots that make my vision go white.
I imagine it’s real. Imagine it’s Dax behind me, that burned caramel scent surrounding me as he works his knot into my body. Or Malik, controlled and precise, knowing exactly how to make me fall apart. Or Jalen with that gentle strength, or Cole with his playful energy turned focused.
My orgasm builds fast, cresting like the storm waves outside. I come with my face buried in a pillow, body clenching around silicone, imagining it’s an alpha’s knot locking inside me.
It helps.
For about another thirty seconds.
Then the heat comes roaring back.
I clean up as best I can, wiping down the toy with a tissue before setting it on a towel at the edge of the nest before stumbling to the bathroom. Another cold shower, this time just to rinse off, to reset.
The tile is cool against my overheated skin. I let the water run over me and try not to think about how this is only day one. How the heat is only going to get worse. How my toys are already proving inadequate, and I have days of this ahead of me.
When I finally make it back to the nest, wrapped in a towel, the ice cream is waiting outside my door exactly as promised. I grab it quickly and retreat, locking the door behind me.
The pint is a little soft from sitting out, but still cold and sweet and exactly what my overheated body needs. I dig in with perhaps more enthusiasm than is dignified, but there’s no one here to judge me.
The marshmallows are perfectly toasted, sweet and chewy, and definitely not making me think about Jalen’s scent. Definitely not.
I’m halfway through the pint when my eyes land on the toy again. It’s just lying there, purple silicone gleaming in the low light, knot clearly visible at the base.
My face heats for an entirely different reason.
