Wrapping her arms around her middle, she rocked herself back and forth in a self-soothing manner, trying to stop the chaos in her mind so she could think clearly. Not react. She was very grateful that Tomas had warned her what might happen. In all honesty, she hadn’t believed she would have such a severe reaction. She was strong. She was logical. Just him telling her what to expect should have prepared her.
She continued to breathe as deeply as possible, counting in her head to stop the noise of false grief. It took a few minutes, but eventually, she was able to calm her brain enough to think much more clearly. That allowed her body to regain control.
Sarika forced herself to listen to the soothing sounds of the forest.She inhaled the scent of the various flowers. Her world was slowly righting itself. Determinedly she performed her ritual, filling the bathtub while she made a cup of tea, although her stomach rebelled at the idea of actually drinking anything. Tomas had warned her about that as well. She sank into the soothing hot water, grateful for whatever Luiz did to give her such a luxury.
While she soaked in the hot water, she reached for her jaguar, sharing as much information as she’d learned. Her female was always thoughtful, taking her time before she responded. Over the years, Sarika was grateful for her guidance. Now she understood. Her jaguar, like her, had been reborn more than once over the centuries as they guarded Tomas’ soul.
“I worry that when the conversion takes place, we will both be different. I don’t want to chance anything happening to you,” she murmured aloud to the jaguar.
We have always known you were going to be Carpathian. We just didn’t know when.
The royalwe. “You were aware of this all along?”
Of course. I remember every life cycle. And the waiting for our mate.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You suppressed everything after the Carpathian killed all of our people. You didn’t even allow yourself to remember the ones you saved, sending them deep beneath the earth into the tunnels. The knowledge of your lifemate was always there, but when you refused to see it, I knew your mind was protecting you for a reason. I watched over you.
Sarika knew her jaguar was very pragmatic but also extremely protective. If she believed Sarika wasn’t able to handle information, she would keep the specifics locked away to protect her.
“You are certain if we go through the conversion, you will remain the same.”
I will be more, as will you. Our gifts, already powerful, will be enhanced, but we will remain Sarika and Coh.
“You aren’t afraid?”
We are very powerful together.Now her jaguar sounded as if she were speaking to a child.There is no need for fear. Others should fear us.
Sarika didn’t want anyone to fear her, nor did she want to be afraid. “I am still getting panic attacks. It’s humiliating.”
Your lifemate does not think less of you. If anything, he respects you more. It has never mattered; when you have what you refer to as a panic attack, you do whatever needs to be done.
That much was true. She pushed past when she was panicking so she could get the job done, whatever it happened to be. She’d never noticed the admiration and respect Coh gave her in those moments. She’d been too busy holding it together.
“Thanks, Coh,” she said, meaning it.
Sarika dressed carefully for the party. It wasn’t just about trying to look as if she belonged with the other women; she still believed they would be attacked. She knew the Carpathian males believed they were too strong for such a thing to happen. Too many of them gathered together in one place. They would weave safeguards that would be impenetrable. She knew every single argument against such an attack. It would be suicide for any individual or group to try. But Sarika’s warning alarms were blaring at her. She dressed in clothes that allowed her to go into combat if necessary or quickly shift. She wanted to be ready for anything.
Her hair was always a wild mess. She had naturally curly hair, and no matter how long she grew it or how heavy it was, it curled in thick coils and unruly spirals interspersed with waves. Most of the time, she braided it in an attempt to tame it. She found herself staring in the mirror, literally feeling Tomas’ hands in her hair. He liked her hair. And he liked it wild.
She exposed the twin marks where Tomas had bitten her. She could feel him there, too, his mouth, his tongue, the pads of his fingers. She covered the mark with her palm, holding him to her, needing to feel him close. Today was going to be a very difficult day. She was in the minority when it came to worrying that there was a crediblethreat to all the women and children at the party. Tomas had made it clear that if the women were killed, the ancients would either suicide or turn vampire. It would be a coup beyond anything ever done in their history.
Sarika pressed a hand to her temple and reached out to Tomas. It was close to sunset, and she was certain he would hear her.I am surer than ever that there is a plan in place to harm all the women and children. The longer I am awake, the more the dread is growing in me.She willed him to believe her.
There was a long silence. At first, she wasn’t certain she’d reached him, but then she felt him pouring into her mind. Filling her. Every lonely place.Tomas.The moment he was in her mind, she felt whole. Complete. She had always been alone, and she was used to it. She thought she preferred a solitary state, but now she had Tomas.
Not just Tomas,he corrected.You inherited a family, such as it is.
She loved the sound of his voice. The way it felt like a caress smoothing over the uncertainty in her mind. She heard the soft note of amusement, as if he found his brothers and Luiz humorous.
They do like to give their opinions,she said, allowing him to feel her laughter.
Just that fast, with Tomas touching her mind, she felt better. Lighter. The warning signals hadn’t lessened, but she wasn’t going to be alone facing the threat. Tomas would listen to her. That was one of the things she could count on with him. He heard her, and he paid attention to what she had to say.
You’re very worried about the baby shower.Tomas made it a statement.You absolutely believe the women and children will be attacked.
She walked to the railing to watch the sun sink from the sky. The shadows in the forest turned several shades of purple and blended with darker shadows. A chill slid down her spine. It wasn’t particularly cold, but she shivered nevertheless.
